If you are looking for very erotic stories, I’m sorry to say they aren’t here. However, I do have some so-so stories of my flings. As always, you have chosen to read these, so don’t gripe. If you do like them, comments are always happily received! Thanks!

This may be boring to you. So enter at your own risk. This is an autobiography of sorts.

I went on my mission to Scandinavia scared shitless. The MTC in Rexburg only sent my mind reeling when I saw some of the sister missionaries. Some were hot, but most were not. Our language sister was in the hot category!

Every class of butchering the foreign language brought frequent teacher/ student tutoring. Although she was not so thin, everything above her belly button certainly made me horny. That time was the last time I ever saw her again.

Getting used to companions had its moments. Tracking sucked there just as in other countries. My mission had its ups and downs. Halfway through, my hands found their way down to my cock for some much needed release. My senior companion was a zero (and currently lives across town and as screwed up as me, but a total zero still). I looked him up once, and that was way too much. He was pretty psycho then.

My most erotic experience was waking to a very wet dream. Wearing those thin nylon one piecers didn’t hide things. A hard on with cum all over his belly. Yuck!

Our sister missionaries were native and lived 2 floors above us. Lust was always with them. They were really impressed with my culinary skills at Thanksgiving. I made all of the traditional yummies for everyone in our district. I have no idea how I found a turkey while there. I was a real Betty Crocker.

One of the sisters I met was pretty nice, so I kept my eye opened when I saw her. Ten years ago, as the HP group leader, I heard a destiny voice while sitting in the Ward Clerk’s office. I loudly said, do I hear the voice of sister xxxxx? She came through the door with her husband, just as smiley as the last time I saw her 40 years prior. Being very surprised, I welcomed them to the ward and did all the pleasantries. A few months later their son had an Ultra Light accident near SLC and they flew out. A few days later, she called saying that they had forgotten some paperwork at their house and would I I get it in the mail quickly. She gave me some sketchy instructions on how to ‘break’ into their house and where the papers were. I followed the instructions opening a family room window only to find an absolutely discussing mess. They weren’t gone long enough for what I walked into. The typical shit house. Very rotted food in the fridge, dust,dirt, and cobwebs all over. Their bedroom? I don’t know how or where they slept or bathed. The closed thing to compare with it was another member’s hoarded house. As per my calling, I rallied the other leaders to divide and conquer as the hurt son had died. I don’t think I saw them again. They came home to a lovely clean home, packed up an moved back to the other side of town. I never saw them again.

While in the same city, we tracked out an American guy, his Welsh girlfriend and some kids in an apartment. It was nice but weird translating English to Scandinavian and back to English. The lessons were very scripted, and we blew through them quickly with her time progressed as we (us, her, and her snot-nosed son.

They all had a trip scheduled for a trip to Racine Wisconsin with a stopover at Nauvoo. She and I wrote a couple of letters while there, and I encouraged her to meet up with Cathy and my Mom who lived close to there. After receiving a letter back from Cathy, I found out that she (Becky) had her eyes on me, and couldn’t wait for her return trip home. Her relationship tanked with her boyfriend and she was ready to start a new one….with me. I was freaking out and made a 911 call to our Mission President, who sent me a plane ticket not far from the mission home as a District Leader.

I don’t know if it’s true elsewhere, but it seemed like running day care center, to include temper trantrums and dirty diapers. A week after arriving, I felt my chances with Becky had better odds for me!

There was one guy who claimed he had back spasms and couldn’t tract, but found the energy to play basketball on P-Day. Another set (the senior that I later found was gay), had found a member several miles from my apartment by train, subway, and walking. They frequently went to her place many evenings through the week. One day I tried to set an appointment to interview their companionship for the month. There no answers at odd times. I had been to the sisters house and thought they said that they liked to play cards with her. I reported to the MP my situation, to which since my companion was tied up with the ZL’s, I needed to go immediately to the sisters house to find them. Do you remember anytime like that and being petrified on your own? I was so paranoid and scared, watching everyone I saw during my travel. I walked to her door, and rang the bell. She answered the door, I asked if the missing elders were there. She said yes, which prompted me to say that they had to return to their apartment and await a call the following day, and turned and headed back to the subway stop reversing my earlier steps and paranoia. That was the end of them, and me as a DL. I was transferred to another nearby companion and road out the remaining weeks until I headed home after baptizing a guy the day before.

On my way home, found one of the three legs out of London to be on PanAm flight 103. Years later I heard about a 747 going down over Lockerby, Scotland matching my earlier flight home. Were there any other notable events? Thankfully yes. I was seated next to a beautiful 20 year old gal on her way home. I napped with a smile on my face, enjoying a brief 6 hour flight home next to a goddess… and sporting a woody under my blanket.