My Guideline for Beginners

I receive a lot of requests from Redditors about their problems and situations they encounter when getting into SexWife/HotWife relationships.

Thus, I decided to make this little guideline. Moderator, please forgive me if this violates the rules.

So, before starting:

1. HotWife/SexWife will not fix your marriage. If you have problems in your couple, you should resolve them without involving a third party or consider ending the relationships. Period. Otherwise, it looks like a couple who are giving birth to a child to save the marriage.

2. Bull/lover as an addition to your sex, not a replacement. Your sexual life must be good (or at least okay) without any third party. The Bull is just an addition/good sauce to your burger/DLC to the video game but not an essential component.

3. HotWife is not about cheating; it's about giving pleasure to the entire couple by adding new persons.

4. BOTH shall want it. If your partner does not really want it, don't force, don't ask, don't 'buy' this through presents or otherwise.

5. The husband must be in first place (not the Bull) in ANY, ANY situation. Otherwise, it's cheating.

So, you are okay in your couple and both decide to try. What's next?

1. Establish borders. Borders must be acceptable to both of you, and you must enjoy the experience within these boundaries without feeling humiliated.

2. A husband shall know everything. Any date with Bull, any message. I don't insist on installing “parent control” on your wife's phone, but there should be no secrets from the husband.

3. Specify the model you want to use (following the borders, of course).

The most preferable model (personal experience) is MFM - no one is humiliated, everyone is in the game and allows for variations (just watch, for example). Dating with the bull alone needs more experience and can be humiliating for the Hubby.

How to start (try) without a bull. If you are not sure if HotWife is okay for you, the following can help.

1. Sex in one room with another couple (without swapping). It will help both of you to understand whether it's okay when you are the focus of another's sexual arousal.

2. Nudist beach. The same as point 1.

Okay, you are okay and ready to find a bull. Where to look?

1. Swingers resources: The best option because in these resources people do understand the rules of play, borders, etc.

2. Swingers clubs/parties: The same.

Do not recommend:

1. Tinder/conventional relationships: Here guys can play like in conventional relationships with all the consequences. Your wife is not a potential girlfriend, just a Hubby's slut.

2. Friends: You cannot control the risks and consequences.

About the bulls:

1. The bull must follow your rules. If he doesn't - you know what to do.

2. Any attempt at conventional dating your wife - you know what to do.

3. Anything that humiliates you or your husband - you know what to do.

4. If you understand that you or a bull is falling in love - terminate this. Don't 'torture' yourself or a bull with relationships that cannot exist the risk of cheating.

Can you go on a date alone? I would recommend doing the first dates together. It will help you understand if a bull is okay, can control yourself, and etc.

Additionally, do not allow the Bull to film you or take any photos unless you've been dating for a long time and can trust him.

Where to meet:

For the first dates, I would recommend a hotel (with the bull covering expenses). Other dates - depends on the situation.

I think this is okay for the start; please comment, and I’ll be happy to answer.