Alright, so I don't want to dive into details because this is very personal information but I wanted to explain what happened between October and December considering I've disappeared since then.

( Trigger Warning - Beginning )

[Redacted since it's been a long time.]
^{Obviously this caught me off guard.
So everything was put on hold on my end.
I spent a month trying to process and help.
Then things got worse, so I backed out.
I didn't have the nerve to keep up with socializing.}

( Trigger Warning - End )

That being said-- I wasn't able to keep up with the Discord server that I created to build a connection with the few submissives who were willing to get to know me. They were all very sweet and full of potential, so I hope they've managed to move forward without taking things personally. I will offer an apology here and now though, I am sorry for falling behind and dropping the server.

I felt like I lost my inner Domme, I don't know how else to explain it, especially since my collared sub had stopped helping me with that server because his personal life became incredibly busy. I do not blame him for that whatsoever! Honestly though, it put me in Domme drop headspace so I pulled away and threw in the towel. I told him that I don't think I can do this anymore because weeks were going by where we were barely speaking anymore. I knew his reasons, but I got cold feet. Everything was making me feel worse and worse, so I dropped out of the D/s sphere entirely by the end of November.

I've since then found myself with a new partner and I'm back to some sense of normalcy. No more anxiety, confusion, or negative feelings wrapped around Femdom at this moment. I know who I am and what I want. I will not let anyone decide my fate or tell me what to do from this point forward.

So, I'm going to walk this path with my head held high and I'm going to do what makes me feel fulfilled. I believe I can be helpful without having to sacrifice my personal comfort or being pushed into a box with specific labels.

I'm doing this for me. I want to gain experience and grow as a person. It also makes me happy to help other people. I will not put my eggs in one basket and hope for the best-- I will make it a reality and if it's not possible, I will let go. I will keep moving forward. For myself, my partners and friends, and for whomever I meet in the future.

I will do what's best for me and try my hardest to cherish those who are coming along for the ride.