I couldn't control "what was going on" that evening with that professor in early 2020.

But it's okay, say that I have "a disorder that can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or a psychologist." Then, say that "I'm a danger to everyone around me" because I'm a convicted felon.

I shrieked in the hospital when people were scaring me! Like, it was scary to them, too! Obviously!

I've lost control BAD in the past. People who understand know that I've had to "get out of there." Like, physically remove myself when the situation is bad, AND to control myself when I haven't yet totally lost control because physically removing myself isn't always possible.

I'll sleep tonight, and I'll be so happy to visit my niece and nephew tomorrow.

Edit: I understand what I said today. Is it just as bad to say "a slur" than to say that "people got beat up in school because they were nerds?" It can be! That data science mini course drove me mad! I'd end it and react horribly! So, I vent to trusted people.

Admittedly, I often pick up the phone because it's easier to express what I'm going through by way of vocal speech. I won't do that anymore, though. My mother freaks out over everything that doesn't even exist.