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Background : We have been married for 6 years. Arranged marriage. I love my wife and she loves me too. But she has had a bad childhood. Her father was not very nice to her, just because she was a girl. She has told me this herself and when I confronted his father on this, he broke down and said yes, he has been evil to her in her childhood. There was no abuse but just constant disapproval and insults ; just because she was a girl child and he wanted a boy.
Situation : I live with my parents and initially they were pretty insulting towards her. I used to stay outside for work that time, but when I moved back to my city and saw my parents constantly bickering with her, I asked them to cut it out. they stopped. In fact, such is our Indian parent's mindset (most times) that they didn't know what what they were doing is mental torture. But I stopped it anyways. They also have complied.
Problem : But my wife has severe self esteem issue. She gets angry on the minutest thing. Our son (4 yr old) made a drawing (random stuff like kids do), my dad told him to go and show it to your father (me). My wife later said, why didn't my father told our kid to show it to his mom. She was sad because of it.
There is a point till which I can ask my parents to stop bothering her, but in this case, even I don't think it was intentional. But such is my wife's lack of esteem she gets hurt.
My mother-in-law (she is a saint) told me that my wife was a bubbly and energetic child. She showed my pictures from her childhood when she used to participate in stage plays and was very active. But as she grew up her father's constant rebuke turned her into this low self esteem person. She used to keep sick and her father would find even that as a distrbance. So much that now when she falls ill, she doesnot tell me. She just keeps working, saying its nothing. It breaks my heart to see her suffering like this. But she does not listen.
Advice needed : How do I bring back her confidence ? I love her more than anything in this world. But she constantly berates me, gets angry on me. Often says she is living on only for our son or she would have killed herself.
Gets depressed frequently. I have tried bringing her flowers, gifts, I spend a lot of time with her, I help out a lot in the kitchen so that she can relax, I have my own job as well. But still I feel she is not happy.
<possible NSFW> We have not had satisfying physical intimacy since many months. She says she does it only for me. It frustrates me. So I perv out on social platform anonymously. I hate it, but I hate the fact that she is still unhappy.
God knows she deserves to be happy. Any suggestions are welcome. Help me out please. I need it.
PS : Amidst all this, I have never considered my happiness. But I think I am approaching my own limit now. Even I can't so anything because of our child. I keep looking at the highway outside my office. One of these days I just want to leave everything and start walking on it.
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