You wanna know how I got this slutty? I joke about being an angelic succubus, but the truth is that I put a lot of thought into that moniker, and I feel that it reflects both the pain I've overcome and the pleasure I now relish in and wish to share.

I was raised in an extremely conservative, separatist, christian community. It wasn't quite a cult, but it was still a culture steeped in fear, control, and isolation. I was homeschooled, taught that public schools were "government brainwashing centers," and that all god needed from me education-wise was a baseline level of intelligence needed to manage a household when I'm grown and to defend my faith against the secular world. Ironically enough, I learned about sex fairly young, but only because I hungered to learn everything about what it meant to be human (and of course, where babies came from). The public library was one of the few places I was allowed to be left to my own devices, so I poured over medical textbooks and sex ed books, feeling a rush up my spine knowing that what I was accessing was forbidden fruit. I never took those books home, just devoured them alone in a corner of the library while my mom watched my little sister.

As I got older, I learned that my body was never my own and never would be. It belonged to god, my father, and my hypothetical future husband. Before I ever knew what sexual harassment or assault was, I was scolded for wanting to wear certain clothes because they would "cause men to stumble." In my world, causing a man to think sexual thoughts about me was a grave sin, and that however he chose to act upon those thoughts was my fault. Anxiety about my body and how I presented it settled in, worrying about if my skirt was too short or my neckline too low a constant drone in the background of my thoughts. But the truth was...I wanted the attention. I wanted to be desired and admired for what I was, and not what I could do. I wanted to be more than just a vessel waiting to be filled with my future husband's seed, more than a meek secondary character in the story that my male counterparts got to take the lead in. I wanted my body and my sexuality to be mine.

My teenage years was when the unrelenting horniness settled in. Now it's one of my favorite things about myself, but then, it made me think I was broken. Especially when these horny thoughts sometimes centered around women, I thought I was an irredeemable pervert that would never be happy within the constraints of a "sexually pure," heterosexual, monogamous marriage. My senior year of high school, I got my first boyfriend. I wasn't even attracted to him, but I was desperate for the romantic attention, someone to drive me around and help me escape from the confines of my parents' house, and...best of all...someone to kiss. I finally had my first kiss at 17 years old, and it was suddenly all I wanted to do. We made out for literal hours...one time we made it through the second Lord of the Rings movie only coming up for air a few times. I loved kissing so much because it was safe...as long as our clothes didn't come off, we were in the clear. I could get turned on as much as I wanted and we could make each other feel good without having to feel guilty about it. But the truth was...I did feel guilty. Because of course the horniness still persisted, and only got stronger. Just as they warned me it would.

In the years that followed, I began the process known as deconstruction. Now that I was out in the world on my own, I could finally face it head-on and confront what I had suspected for a long time: that I was not entirely straight, that sexuality was where I could find strength and not shame, and that god was so much bigger and better than I had been made to believe. I started to date a variety of people that all helped me ease into sex over the course of several years. Some of them were better at it than others. I had my tits licked for the first time at age 20. I was fingered and sucked dick for the first time at 21. I was experiencing so much new and exciting pleasure, but also persistent shame and embarrassment from the fact that penetrative sex still felt so scary and far away for me. Then, finally, at age 22 I made what I call my sexual debut. It was with a gorgeous Spanish man who loved to take photos of me and tell me in great detail exactly how he wanted to devour my body. It was, as they say in purity culture, "worth the wait."

Then, I was off to the races. I got an IUD and never looked back. Over the course of the next few years, I dated and had sex with so many beautiful people of various genders. In this process, I finally got to understand my body and my sexuality as mine. I was in control of my own pleasure, and I found so much joy in using my body to bring pleasure to others. Sex never lost its all-consuming power for me, but my understanding of it evolved from fear and shame to reverence and respect.

Now here I am, a professional cyberslut. I began cam modeling in 2022, as a way to fund my burgeoning filmmaking career and divest away from the corporate work that had been slowly killing my creative soul over the course of several years. Doing sex work feels like coming (cumming?) full circle for me. I'm doing all the things that brought me so much joy and fulfillment as a kid (dancing, playing dress-up, storytelling, performing, being a clown), but now as a grown-up I get to bring my sexuality to the table as well. I am right exactly where I am meant to be.

My deepest desire for my work now is that through exploring the farthest regions of my inner self, I can help other people do the same. I want to make porn that sparks peoples' imaginations, that makes them feel seen, that explores their most creative fantasies, that gets them off 100% guilt-free. I hope that my private video sessions and cam shows give people the space to be their truest, sluttiest selves, because unfortunately we live in a world that seeks to control and restrict peoples' desires and their access to pleasure. I know first-hand how lonely that can feel.

Without you, I couldn't fully be me. Thank you for being here. 🖤