Sup,

I plan on recording the poll winner soon but I'm still getting over covid. I'm okay, second time getting it and I just had one really bad sick day.

How is everyone? :)

I just beat cyberpunk 2077 recently which put me down a rabbit hole of Keanu Reeves interviews and I came across something where said "I take myself on dates" and things like that its been sticking with me. I love seeing movies by myself and going to arcades and getting McDonald's alone in the morning (because I'm cheap and easy) and going on little walks in the park alone. I have people who I can do things with but recently I've been trying to really just have time to "be me". It's kind of nice to go out and do things and not be worrying about what people are thinking of me. I look grumpy and am usually wearing a hoodie and a beanie all the time. I'm pretty short but I know that a lot of people see me as potentially being a threat which just comes with the territory. Y'all know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, taking myself out and just doing things I enjoy alone has kinda helped me realize that people don't really see me the way I see myself. That social anxiety of "do I make people uncomfortable just by being myself?" kinda goes away when you realize that people either don't think of it or don't even notice. It's been an interesting experience for me to get back to having solo adventures just because I want to. I get a sense of rejuvenation from being alone in public. I'm pretty introverted until I get to know someone (then I'm a hyperactive dork who wants to twerk on you at 2:37 PM) and this getting back to this little experiment again reminds me that maybe I'm not as awful as I think? Idk if this makes sense.

Point is, don't forget to treat yourself like someone you love. If something has you down and is bothering you, give yourself the advice you'd give someone else in your shoes. Not to sound like a dick but you're not the exception. You're a person who makes mistakes, you have the full gambit of the human experience so you have to give yourself the same kindness you would give other people. If that means not going 100% at work after a bad morning or getting yourself that little cookie with your meal, just do it. It's okay to treat yourself and give yourself a break. Your mind is designed to keep you alive not to make you happy, you have to remind yourself you're breathing and can have nice things. Be nice to yourself silly goose.

I hope that you do a little dance right now and it makes you smile. You're a great dancer.