I'm doing the work, or trying to! I am also an s-type through and through and believe I am a better person when there is a dominant man who cares about my well being, in my life. I'd like a friend/partner/mentor who is willing to accompany me part of the way on this journey. But first, like any good adventurer, you must make it through the gauntlet of requirements.

Looking for real life

I'll be honest. Online isn't going to cut it. At all. If it can for you, consider yourself lucky. I need this to be physical. I desperately need to be touched by someone safe who is both caregiving and dominant. Can that look like weekend visits? Sure. I'm flexible but you must be real and willing to meet.

Looking for a true Dominant

I will not be able to relax or let go of any stress or thoughts unless I trust that you can handle anything that comes up, both in & out of the dynamic. Might that take time? It should, but not as long as you might think for some.

Looking for something that respects the place I'm at with my healing

I am an incredibly sensual being but I don't want this to start with sex right away. I'll melt or fall apart, under just your touch. I'm not ready for that intense stage yet, but I need to feel the dynamic force, the push/pull of submission and domination. The physical reality of muscles and bones and spiritual reality of your desire.

Looking for someone 420 friendly

It relaxes my body and mind, reduces my pain, and I've rarely orgasmed without it.

As for the rest, my attraction is based on many factors so things like age, body type etc are almost meaningless to me at this point.

That seems like a lot of requirements. I just don't want to waste my precious time with individuals who don't fit my needs. This is a big pond to fish from. I do hope that some of you will filter through and be interested in what I offer. If you feel like you'd be a great match even if they all don't apply to you, let me know. I can widen my viewpoints some, for the right person.

I am 38. College educated and underachieving. Not neurotypical but that's only realized after you know me awhile. Otherwise I appear intelligent & quirky, which just means I'm attractive enough to not be called weird! Definitely carrying around trauma...

I'm working on recovery from past abuses (bdsm isn't an excuse) and recent losses. I'm rebuilding my life. I'm on a waiting list for therapy starting soon and have signed up for some yoga classes starting in January. But I'm also lonely and desire attachment. Some guidance. A sounding board and anchor. A firm hand on the back of my neck. An encouraging whisper in my ear. Praise and rewards because there's so little of that in my life right now.

I definitely have a few "little" traits as a part of my personality (novelty seeking, I enjoy playing & being creative both vanilla & otherwise) but I'm not really into the physical trappings of any dynamic. I greatly desire to please and serve the man who can give me all of the benefits of submission. Most of my successful relationships have been BDSM based since I began dating as an adult.

I don't see this as a traditional relationship. I'm in a complicated place in my life and my feelings. I'm working on it. It might not be fair to be asking for this, but I'm trying to be very transparent about myself. Could it have potential for something long term? Authentic connection often does. But I can't look that far ahead right now.

I love being touched, massaged, groped, cuddled. Sometimes even more when it's slightly over-bearing. Psychological domination is important as physical. I'm attracted to primal, possessive and alpha natures....but that has caused its own problems so... Pleasure Doms with a sweet, humorous but slightly sadistic streak sounds like someone I'd be interested in spending time with- but labels aren't my thing.

Yeesh, if you went that far without scanning for my list of kinks...I think we could be a match! I have plenty, and have tried many more things at least once, and might be willing to do it again with you! My last experience with CNC and tpe was intense and it's hard to not want something similar but I'm not ready for that, yet. I've had some good success with hypnosis. And there's a possibility on this journey of finding myself that I shed some of these layers of trauma induced kinks. Or dive in deeper...

Are you okay starting with your hand on top of mine? The depths are always there, waiting for me.

Please respond with something that indicates you've read and understood my ad. It really does feel draining to put myself out there like this and hope someone will happen across me. I might get overwhelmed and delete this in less than an hour, I don't know.