It’s fascinating how powerful perception is. Sometime I feel like it is what truly rules the world. This reminds me of what Dr. Lisa Barrett mentions about the two realities we live in: the physical and social realities. Physical reality exists, it is there, it is countless raw elements interacting with each other. Meaninglessness. Social reality, on the other hand, is what we make out of it.

I can talk about physical and social realities for hours, but I don’t want to get side tracked. So, let me share my thoughts with you.

Physical pain, from an objective perspective, is very raw, and meaningless. A bunch of neurons alerting the brain that there is something wrong here. Our frontal lobes though, are capable of making a meaning of that pain and molding it into different things.

Most living things, if not all, dislike pain as it is unpleasant. Yet, masochists see it through different lenses!

You can only feel pleasure out of pain if you don’t panic and contain it. When you strip pain off of all of its social meanings and see it in an objective way. A meaningless biological response. Then you direct it towards pleasure, dressing it up with a new social context. This is how it goes for me in my mind:

It feels like I am stripped off of my power, tied up, shackled and helpless. Have given up control to someone I trust… which is what it is all about. It’s all about the trust. I am so vulnerable and exposed. I am well aware of the value that I am giving to my partner, and how good that makes her feel. So I turn pain into pleasure based on that new perception… way beyond every social and even biological construct!

My back becomes an erogenous zone stimulated when whipped… it no longer feels pain when, it only feels pleasure… when I am verbally humiliated and looked down on my ears and eyes no longer register humiliation… they see it as a form of love. For my frontal lobe has taken over!

It’s so complex I am high in the skies of sadomasochism I am no longer on earth… pain is no longer unpleasant. It is pleasurable. It is what strengthens my bond with her. I know how pleasurable for her having me as her canvas. My brain only thinks of that while receiving pain, bypassing what my natural responses are supposed to be and taking complete control. The humility and vulnerability are no longer unpleasant. They strengthen the bond I have with my sadist partner. It leaves me speechless!

My brain is the center of pleasure.. not my nipples.. not my penis… not my prostate! Those little pleasure entities are drunkingly moving everywhere in my body. They can make me feel the pleasure anywhere and everywhere she chooses. They are no longer gathered down there.

My body now just takes pain and automatically perceives it as love.. just how a kiss or a hug is normally perceived.. so serene and warm! I take it and immediately smile… I just let go… I am not there I am in a different world! The whip sounds, the insults… they become erotic music to my ears! No need for psychedelics to get there. Our connection is what takes us both up there.

My body, my mind, everything is loose. I let go of it all. I am her big white canvas that she freely uses… she just splashes her instincts and spontaneous thoughts into this canvas with not a single judge. No matter what the painting turns out to be it is a masterpiece. For this deep complex frontal lobean reality we both live in.

The way down to earth is through aftercare… when we reassure each other that even if society sees her as a monster for being a sadist… and me for being a masochist… we see sadomasochism as a form of love. I see her sadistic part and reassure her that I love that part of her. And she sees my masochistic part and reassures me that she loves it. Even if she seemed like a merciless mean tyrant to society… and I seemed like a pathetic mentally-ill doormat… we see it differently, and love the divergence in our sacred love style.

With love,

Tura