Married guy here around 40. Pretty happy with family life, career, etc., not looking to change that. Rather, I’d like to find a busy professional woman in a similar situation who is also seeking an outlet for her expansive sexual imagination. Think online and phone chats, phone sex, some meetups, and if you’re into it, some bdsm-like practices and procedures, over a kind of “starter marriage” length of time.

I’m not trying to be penpals or erotic story coauthors, but I do consider myself sexually and emotionally driven by a woman’s gift of sexual gab, and I’d like to think I give as much as I take there. I’m also attracted to people who think life is rather dark and senseless but prefer to laugh about it and live it up to any of the other options, and especially attracted to people who find that this is all the more true in sex. In terms of kinks, my list is relatively typical, if rather long, and on the “dom” side of things, but I find it more revealing just to note that I get off on doing that which seems not-ok, whatever that looks like, and I like people who neither need to be edgelord-y about it, nor need to bolster it with all the instrumental and linguistic trappings of a subculture.

If it helps for you to have a working picture or stereotype in mind: I have three degrees and practice one of the formal “professions.” My partner is probably with me because I like to push boundaries, I’m funny, and while I don’t particularly abide by gender norms, I can be quite firm and decisive in, I hope, an attractive way; I’m Asian, but that basically only means for me that I enjoy food in a certain way and that I deal with obnoxious workplace racial nonsense sometimes; I’m really rather nonchalant about all things sex, but do not believe that “sex” and “emotions” are fully separable, and I also at the same time can be quite detail-oriented and demanding, insofar as that’s kinky.