This writing is subject to change without notice. I love people who pay attention to details. Paying attention = better lovers.

Disclaimer: I'm very direct, blunt, and straight to the point. I know what I want and don't want. To simplify this process, I'm creating this writing about me and what I am looking for. This way it helps not to have everybody's time wasted. I made this “About Me” post to show how I like to be approached, to help other Redditors see if A) I meet that basic criteria you’re looking for, B) you’re within the framework of who and what I’m interested in and open to as well, and C) decide if it may be worth further messaging to get to know one another and possibly pursue something…or not!

Enthusiasm consent and effort is sexy af!*

IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO ASK QUESTIONS AND NOT ASSUME THINGS. IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, IT SHOWS I'LL GET A LAZY, UNATTENTIVE FWB/PLAY PARTNER AND I DON'T WANT THAT!

If you have any further questions after reading everything or are uncertain about anything, feel free to drop me a message!

We are no longer swinging. We are focusing more on BDSM and if I (female) want to play with a couple, I'm free to do so. He will NOT be playing with anyone.

I'm open to playing with FF couples but not MF couples.

Without further ado, let's get started.

-Small talk.

I seriously hate the boring hi, how are you statement when being approached. It shows no effort and I'm not here to unpack my day/life for a complete stranger. If you want to get my attention, be witty, sassy, charasmatic with a dark twist! If you've seen the show Lucifer, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.

If your conversations consists of "I have tits" or "my dick this," I'll get very bored and will block you. I hate getting "we can fuck you to the moon and back," really? Yawn.

-Where are you located? Would you meet an out of towner?:

Right now, we just moved to Tempe. I live in AZ for those who are out of state/country. People coming out of town, the question is are you going to show up? Anybody can travel, but the question remains if our schedules will line up. I don't meet out of towners (men) w/o their spouses/SO.

-Can you host? What if we can't host?:

I can, but I'd rather play outside my home first before bringing someone over. The reason is I don't want someone coming over uninvited, unannounced and potentially end up being a stalker.

My boyfriend has a young adult living with us, if you become a creep there's gonna be a bigger problem. His daughter is very aware of our lifestyle. This is about being safe and any potential needs to show they're trustworthy and safe for me to bring them to our home.

If you can't host, then we have a problem. An alternative would be to play at a sex club, there's rooms if you want privacy or if you want to show the world what we're doing. It's cheaper than a hotel, but hotels are still good too. If you have issues with sex clubs - I don't know what to tell ya.🤷‍♀️

-Are you into BDSM? Would you play with a D/s or M/s couple or single?

Yes, I'm very much into BDSM and I'm a Primal switch. I'm also reinventing myself in bdsm. Not active in the community and don't want to be. I'd rather find kinky people elsewhere. No, I don't want to be your sub or slave. I'll play with a D/s or M/s couple, however, if this is only 3some fun or whatever, then it'll be just that. No kink dynamic. My agreement WILL NOT be the same like your S type meaning calling you daddy or ma'am won't happen at all.

If I'm talking to the dominant, I expect to speak to the sub too. These subs need to speak up on their wants and desires. If you're an S type, get permission from your dom or master to speak to me as I will not be getting permission from the dom/master.

High protocol is not my thing.

Would I be interested in doing scenes? Depends on the people and an in depth negotiation. Also, I don't do light bondage, bedroom only play, I'm very much into the heavier stuff. Want to know more? I have Fetlife -CalypsEclipse- read all about me. I have AFF calypseclipse with pictures and again more about me.

- How do you tend to interact with the M half of the relationship? Do you prefer the female half to contact you?:

I love a woman who can lead. I want the female half to contact me assuming she has intelligence and can have another conversation with another woman without her man coaching her! I'm not interested in those who have this "permissible" type of dynamic. I'm seeking those who are similar to me very independent in their relationship as long as their spouses or partners are on the same page. I'll talk to the female before I talk to the male.

She can also video chat with me, I'd rather see a face than what's written in text because the male could still be playing the female half.

Males always ruin it for me. Conversations may start off ok, then goes straight into thirst mode. No thanks, if you can't intellectually gain my attention without the "oh you're so sexy," etc then no point in us talking. Once I see if the female is on the same page, I'll speak to the male half and the conversations better be in alignment.

-We are curious, why doesn't your boyfriend play? Does he talk to potentials? You're way more active than he is. Does he send you out to parties? Does he play at parties or clubs?

Ahh, the million dollar question I always get about him. Are you interested in playing with him? Talk to him yourself.

He has played with a couple with me once. He has played with me and another male fwb. He also has been in mfm in the past before meeting me.

Why, huh? He's very picky like me when it comes to fucking. He is very sapiosexual, turn his mind on his body might follow. He looks to see if you can hold a conversation, you have intelligence, and if you're attractive. He doesn't stick his dick into everything that moves.

If he senses stupid, he will immediately block you and walk away he doesn't waste his time. He may come across as very intimidating like me, but he knows exactly what he wants and doesn't want.

Yes, he'll talk to potentials but if you're an idiot he'll block you. He has no problems talking to someone I'm interested in but don't expect him to whip it out immediately.

He has played with me at a party once but not with others at parties yet. If he doesn't find the crowd attractive enough for him to play, he won't play he will just socialize. Why continue to keep asking about him if you're still choosing to not talk to him or not include him in play?

Again, do your part in speaking with him if you're soo concern about him not playing.

Lmao! He doesn't send me out to fuck anyone, I'm not a fucking dog. As stated many times, we have agreements just ask us. He's looking for cock anyway, sorry ladies, should have played your cards right.

-Are you a play only together couple? Why play solo when swinging is about the experience together.

Definitely not the typical "we play only together, we're in this together, " while swinging is fun and everything it's not the Olympics for us. We don't care about keeping score about who we fuck not our thing.

We are definitely not trying to be like everybody else with their "we play together only so you must do as we say." We are free to go to parties independently from each other, I've been to more parties without him and I let people know upfront about it.

We have different needs: he simply can't give me the pussy and I can't supply him with a dick. He's bi not bi comfortable and he's looking for men to fuck mostly. Finding couples for a 4 way connection with almost similar kinks is very hard, so it's easier for us to find what we're looking for specifically and separately from one another.

We are not against playing with couples together just the ones who hit me up are very boring vanilla. Doesn't really entice us enough to want to fuck a couple together. The sex needs to be way way more to stimulate us - we are very sapiosexual.

If that's an issue, then don't talk to us that simple. We look for couples who almost mirror us anyway. Sadly, I see nothing but couples parenting one another. Huge turn off. This is why we don't speak for one another that's always a recipe for disaster and miscommunication right off the bat.

As stated, ask us or one of us questions.

We are not like the majority of these couples. We see the same people together All. The. Damn. Time.🤮 Like cut the umbilical cord sometime.🙄

Again, not a damn lap dog. Message him about why I'm at a party without him and you'll get your answer.

-Are you single or in a relationship?: What is your relationship dynamic like?

I'm polyamorous (Google is your friend if you don't know what that means) with my boyfriend who's also poly. Our dynamic is very unique, we have agreements on dating/playing with other people. We are both very independent from each other meaning we don't need to chapperone each other or hand hold.

WE both make our own agreements/negotiations with others independently or if someone pursues us both; we all will negotiate what all of us are wanting to do. I tell him everything as to who shows interests in me, he will do the same. He knows who I'm going to meet up with - we have a lot of open communication.

I'm very selective as to who I play with. I play solo mostly without my boyfriend. He'll play IF he's interested. Don't be upset, if he's choosing not to play with you. If he doesn't find you interesting, he'll move on. Don't expect him to play if you didn't bother to get to know him.

Doesn't matter if you got tits or your man has a great cock. If you want more info about our dynamic, you're more than welcome to message him and will give his Kik. If you choose not to and we decide to play, I don't want to hear "we didn't get a chance to talk to him," that's on YOU not me. You had ONE chance to speak to him and chose NOT too.

Here's how we operate: If you want to do something with me, ASK ME. If you have a question for him only he can answer or if you are interested in playing with him, ASK HIM. If playing regards to both of us, then ASK US. Very simple formula, a lot of couples/singles can't seem to wrap their heads on how we operate or how a couple is still a couple, but operates independently.

There's no "oh, if you have a question, ask my boyfriend and he'll answer." This isn't the 50s, I refuse to be in that kind of relationship.

-Can you travel? What if we/I don't have transportation?:

Yes! I’m willing to travel roughly 45-60 minutes by car and further for the right situation. Also, are you willing to travel to me as well? Gas is expensive, plan accordingly.

If you don't have transportation, I'm not picking you up.

-Sexuality?: My wife/gf is bi playful or bi comfortable. Would you still play with us?

I'm very bi not bi comfortable, not bi curious and definitely not a pillow princess. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. No, I don't play with people who have issues with their sexuality or on the DL. In this lifestyle, I'm hearing "I'm bi only within the lifestyle," if you can't be seen kissing me in a vanilla setting, then we don't need to talk. I only play with those who are true to themselves and loves fucking women.

If she only kisses and touches boobs but that's it, I'm going to be very disappointed. I find her to be boring as I won't be getting anything out of it.

I don't do pillow princesses - getting yours but I don't get mine is NOT my idea of having a good time. You will be blocked if I get half ass sex and you won't hear from me again. I don't know about you, but I want my brains to be fucked! If she's bi curious, then she needs to tell me what she likes in general regarding sex, so I have something to work with. If she expects me to mind read, not happening.

I'm a woman and I know as we women expect our partners to mind read. No, tell me EXACTLY what you're looking for or wanting.

-My wife or girlfriend is too busy. We have kids, work obligations, etc but you can talk to me, the hubby or bf:

She can't be too busy or too shy if I see her nudes on your guys' profiles. Yes, we all have obligations and what not, but if she can't be woman enough to talk to me, then I don't see her doing much in the bedroom for me. She gotta take a break, relax sometime.

If her conversation skills suck, I'm moving on. If she can't put effort and enthusiasm consent, we are not a match.

Depending on how many kids you have, if they're small I'm not sticking around. I'm childfree I only look for people who have more time on their hands. Small kids doesn't allow you to have a lot of time, debate it as much as you want, it's cold hard facts.

My boyfriend is a dad (his last kid will be 18 next year), so he understands the struggles but he doesn't want to wait on another parent either.

Back to me...

I don't want to wait around while you try and find a sitter because I'll be making plans with people who have again more time on their hands. If you have teens to grown adult kids and you're an empty nester, come to front of the line.

"We have been together for 5, 6, 10, 30 years." So, you can mind read everything about your wife or girlfriend because you know her so well. Nope, if she has intelligence only she can tell me her likes and dislikes when it comes to fucking women NOT you, the hubby or bf. If you (the male) have to hold her hand, block me and move on.

-How big are your tits? Can you send us more pics?

Not your concern. If you're fishing for info, block. I have pics on my other accounts, go there and look. I'm not your personal wank fodder.

-If we were to play, what would you do to me/us?

No idea. I hate hypotheticals and boring ass erotic talk. I'll move on seeing you're not trying to meet. That shit doesn't turn me on, but fucking in person does. If it turns into an endless amount of hypotheticals/boring talk, I'll move on w/o warning.

-What are you looking for/open to? Do you play with single women?:

I do look for ENM and bi poly swingers. Also, couples must be bi NOT bi friendly, bi adjacent. Fully bi, no qualms w/their sexualities and actually fucks the same gender! I don't play w/straight couples just very boring for me. I am not interested in he's straight, she's bi couples. Nope, both parties needs to be bi.

I'm leary on monogamous couples simply because they think they can own me. Let me be very clear: I do my own thing and if I want to play with others, I will do so my damn self! Understand that I'm poly, I don't do monogamy whatsoever. I don't do closed triads either too restrictive.

If we're going to play, then we all need to be on the same page. Don't come to me with the "my guy is in control," and his feelings will be hurt real quick. I'm not his damn slave or property either! This is an agreement between ALL OF US not for his amusement. Ladies, don't come with the "if you and I play, is it ok if he plays last minute?" Like WTF, if you just sprung that on me w/o a prior agreement, there's going to be a problem. I hate bait and switch games, I also hate when he thinks he can spring up on me as he sees fits!

No, that's not ok. If I find out, automatic block you will not hear from me again! I don't care how "married" or "how madly in love" you guys are. This is my body! Consent matters.

Yes, I'd love to play with a single woman solo. She must be bi (lesbian is fine) obviously. If you're a single woman (poly/ENM would be a BONUS but not a dealbreaker) and you message me without a clue as to how I operate individually w/o my boyfriend, move on. It shows you don't have experience and don't know how to ask the right questions. If you're confident and want to play, then show me - let's meet.

Anyway, I'm open to doing FFM, MFM, MFFM, FFF, FFFFFFFF, FF only, Ffffffmm, MMF, MMFF. I'm open to playing if let's say your wife or gf wants to play with me only without her spouse, fine as long as he knows she's making plans with me and vice versa.

I really want new friends in this lifestyle, so FWBs emphasis on the friend part doing the things like friends do and if we're in the mood for sexy time, let's do it! It's about boundaries and communication, if you can't handle your spouse or SO to be independent w/o you, then it won't work at all. God forbid, your gf or wife goes shopping w/me and you have a fit, block.

-Do you smoke? Do you care if I/we smoke?:

I'm a social smoker and don't care if you smoke or vape.

-Are you 420 friendly? Do you drink? Do you do PnP?:

Yes! I love to smoke and bonus if you do too! If this is a dealbreaker, move on. I love to drink. I have started doing PnP, don't care if you do but I'm not doing it with someone I don't well enough. I don't know how responsible you are or will be.

-Condoms? Are you on the pill?:

Always for penetrative sex, but not for oral sex. I'm on the pill. I'm also planning on getting my tubes tied.🙏

-What’s your availability?:

Open. Weekends are better for me. I have the weekends and holidays off. I work a morning shift. If your work schedule doesn't line up for us to meet and play, just not gonna work.

-Are you always this direct and picky? What if we/I just wanted to fuck? Can't you just come over?:

Yes! I can just fuck, I'll make it very quick for myself and block you when it's over. I don't want my time wasted. Again, my body, my choice and consent matters!! I hate pushy people, you're not entitled to sex just because you approach me or like a picture of me.

You won't believe how many singles and couples who've been in the lifestyle and do the very bare minimum. My tribe are people who are direct to the point. Why waste each other's time?

If you just want to fuck and expect me to come over, I'm bringing my boyfriend for safety purposes - NO EXCEPTIONS AND NON NEGOTIABLE!!

-How much experience do you have being a 3rd?:

I hate the term 3rd. I'm not a 3rd, I'm a woman first and I have a name. When I was single, I've played with a couple of the male halves. I also played with a single woman for a good while. I haven't played with other couples solo yet. Most times, I don't find the men attractive. So, he has to be really attractive and interesting. Yes, that picky. Again, if you can impress me different story.

I'm not a unicorn. I'm a woman, a grown adult who has agreements with my boyfriend and if you want to play with me, then approach me like an adult. I don't shit rainbows or jump into everybody's lap just because they've approached me. Show me you're trusworthy and honest.

-Is your sex life something open or discreet for you?:

Discreet. Vanilla circles that know me, don't know the full naughty details about my sex life. A gay vanilla friend knows I swing, that's it. I pretty much like surrounding myself in the LS with more open minded people and not prudes.

-Are you willing to meet in public? Would you play on the 1st date/meeting?:

Absolutely! I have no issues meeting up in public. I want to able to test the waters in person for chemistry. Playing on the first date, I have done it only if we all vibe and go from there!

-Do you mind being photographed or filmed?:

I have an issue with this. What do you plan on doing with those vids or pics? Being filmed on our first date/play date is a hell no and hard limit. I don't know you that well, so no.

-Will you respect my/our boundaries?:

The question is will you also respect my boundaries? Respect goes all the way around not just respecting only the couple or the single person. If you're only expecting me to respect only your boundaries and not mine, then it's a waste of time. Show me respect and I'll show you respect.

-Is it alright if my partner doesn’t know? What about meeting me first, then my partner or spouse later?:

If you're cheating, I'll find out and will block you. I am not going to meet you first, then the spouse later. Hell no, we are ALL meeting at once. I will not be making extra trips!!

-Are you willing to enter into a long-term dynamic?:

Long term, how? Ongoing play basis? Yes. A relationship like a poly dynamic? Not at this time. I may be open to a poly relationship, but I'm still really picky and I'm looking for certain qualities that will fit. Want to know more? Ask me.

-What’s your preferred method of communication?:

I do have Kik, Telegram, and Wickr. Snapchat is reserved once we're more on a friend level - same goes for my phone number. We can video chat, I have Marco Polo app.

Do you have a body type you prefer?:

I’m most attracted to fit, muscular, and slim women and men. I am on a fitness journey myself and I workout 5 days a week. I'm still working on my body like anybody else. I prefer people who take care of themselves physically. I'd love to find a play partner who goes to the gym or some kind of physical exercise. ;) I'm not attracted to overweight/obesed individuals.

-Preferences on body hair? How about piercings/tatts?:

I prefer things to be clean-shaved or waxed, especially for giving oral, trimmed or a landing strip. I hate hair in my mouth. Love tatts and piercings!

-Preferences on age?:

My partners have always been over 40. However, if you're in your 20s as a couple, no, as I will not fuck a guy in his 20s. Just a hard ass no! A woman in her 20s is fine as long as she can keep a conversation going, is in tune with herself, has goals, etc.

-Preference on ethnicity?:

I don't date/play within my own race meaning I don't do BBC whatever. My relationships have always been dating or fucking someone of another ethnic group.

Telling me BBC is to die for will result in me yawning and not caring. I will not be playing with AA couples or if your spouse is AA - not my preference and won't apologize for it. I love other cultures and ethnicities, those are the ones I'll date/play with but it boils down to chemistry and attraction. If this is a huge bother, block and move on.

Convincing me is a huge waste of time.

-Do you have any kinks?:

Plenty. Look on my Fetlife -CalypsEclipse-

-What about pregnant play? How do you feel about bareback?:

I do breeding play with my boyfriend only. I don't find it hot w/another guy. Bareback sex, refer to my secton on Condom use only.

-Why should I/we choose you?:

Honestly, if you've got this far - congrats! I'm not here to convince anyone that I'm special. If I'm too much, too in your face or whatever, find somebody else with much lower standards; as I literally don't have the time for low effort people. However, if you feel you have values similiar to me and on the same page, feel free to message me. I'm very sapiosexual (look it up) meaning if you expect to gain my attention, then thoroughly impress me. Turn me on with words and my body might follow.

How you approach me will either make or break with me. IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS BEFORE ENGAGING IN PLAY! I do know where I stand what I want, I expect reciporcation from all parties, again, will not be doing half ass sex! If I'm not for you, that's fine, move on I will not be upset.

If we meet and I find out you didn't reading my info or asked questions, I'll be very upset, will walk out of the establishment and block both of you for wasting my time.