Life is dealing me a poor hand atm:

• Attempting to get a relationship and not getting anywhere. Anything I'm getting via FB dating or Reddit in the last month or so end up being ghosted. I even got banned from r/dating for (apparently) giving an incel response as a comment, with no chance to appeal.
• Further to the point above (1), most posts in the dating/meetup scene are predominantly men, so I feel like my posts/messages/DMs get lost in the sea of contact.
• Further to the point above (2), any attempts via other methods (speed dating, apps, via friends) end up with me either out of pocket or ghosted. Or both!
• Confluence of demands on my time (hobbies, Open Uni coursework, prep for my trip to America) without any real way of managing them, leading to them be all worse off.
• Aside from the odd work outing, and one with the (at the time) girlfriend to Alton Towers, I only ever meet most of my hobby friends at events/meets. Previous attempts at rallying people normally end up not getting as much traction as I've hoped, so I've stopped bothering.

I'm not looking for sympathy, and I'm not after comments about myself. I know I'm not the most attractive, either with my face or body, despite the 2 year gym anniversary edging ever closer. My personality and mood sucks from the poor relationships/ work/ hobby/ life/ sleep balance.

I feel like I'm procrastinating, which is probably down to my autism (officially diagnosed), ADHD, anxiety and depression, yet I also feel like I make great strides every so often. I term it "jumping from one rut to another".

If life is a candle, I feel the wick is nearing the end and the light flickering and growing slightly weaker. Maybe I'll feel different once my trip to the US is over...