C,

I’m tired. Tired of chasing you. Tired of rationalizing with myself that since you love me it’s enough. You talked a big game on that phone call from Norfolk. You said we were going to be us again and I pictured it, loving what I saw… you going out of your way to connect with me again, making me feel loved again, every day, so I’d never forget this time together and hold onto us forever. You told me what I meant to you, and I do still believe you meant every beautiful word.

But you’re in a dark place now. You’re trying to hide it from me, but I feel it. You’re running from your life, trying to escape all the things that you know you should be holding onto. You should know by now that I sense and feel these things. I see what’s happening, but I have no power to stop it… no power to help.

You’re running. But this time I’m not going to chase you. You know you should be holding onto me right now… you know this is your chance for rigorous honesty about what you’re feeling. This is your chance to work on you. But you won’t. You hide. You run. It’s how you cope. You used to run to me… but these days you run away instead.

I love you. You know this. I only want you to be the best version of yourself. But I can’t lose myself in that process. My fragile heart has already seen too much. It just can’t take much more.

Love you always… in spite of it all, Ro 🌸