Aftercare for my readers

This is for you, whoever you are, whenever and wherever you might read this. This is not a character’s words, not part of anyone’s dialogue or conflict. This is me, writing to you, because I need you to know that I care. I care about your integrity and your limits, about your boundaries and your safety.

Perhaps you’ve found yourself reading something of mine and feeling the need to stop. Maybe the things I described went too far for you to feel comfortable. Maybe a theme that came up was too close to home and reminded you of something painful in your own life. Or maybe you were simply having a day that was too intense on its own, and reading my words was not what you needed. If you took a step back, if you acted on your need to get your emotions back in balance, I want you to know that I appreciate that. You looked after yourself and took care of your needs, and that is more important to me than any amount of people reading my work.

To tell you the whole truth, what I wish for the most isn’t even to write to you. I would want to listen instead. I would want to show you that whatever came over as you were reading, and whatever action you needed to take in that moment, was valid. Believe me, I’ve pushed my limits too, both as a writer and as a consumer. At times, I’ve simply had to hit that pause button or close that screen and allow myself a moment to breathe. What we do in this community is at times intense, perhaps even twisted and disturbing, and while I would ask no one to apologize for their creative contributions to that, I also know when fiction can start to get to me.

If you’ve followed me or read my work on multiple occasions, that means I’ve earned a degree of trust from you, no matter how small. I don’t take that trust lightly. As someone who has gone into themes of non-consent, cruelty and sadism more than once, I feel responsible for doing what I can so that you, my reader, can approach these topics in a safe environment. This is, in a certain way, impossible to fulfill completely; no one can go into fiction knowing how they will respond beforehand, and no one should have to explain whatever reactions they may have had. In sincere terms, if my words have caused you pain, part of that trust has been damaged, no matter what my intentions may have been. All I hope is that the wounds that were caused can be healed with time.

Luckily, time is a resource that our community has more of than many of us may think. I’ve had to step away myself recently. I was gone for months, and when I finally felt ready to come back, I realized, to my great relief, that it was all still there, still welcoming and accepting. Essentially, the community had allowed me to take all the time I needed and no one, not a single one expressed disappointment that I had listened to my needs. I would want the same for you. We are all worth time.

So, to sum this up, your limits deserve respect, and you should never feel like you need to overstep them for anyone. And also, in my own experience, conversations about the need to process the unexpected as listeners and readers have always been fruitful and rewarding in our community. Who knows how many you might accidentally help simply by reaching out to others. Others who may feel just like you, unaware that they were never alone. Treat yourself with kindness, no matter what kind of pain may have been brought upon you by words.

Sincerely, with love, from me to you:

Bear