It's morning... Again I open my eyes with no sense of life, it's so funny how I, the one who could live forever actually have no life in me, it's hysterical. A long time back I thought I was losing my mind but I don't even think I have a mind to lose now. everything is a blur. It's morning... Again, In this abysmal pit of despair and mediocrity she was, is and always will be my breath of air, my golden hue day light, the love of my life. I loved her centuries ago, no that's not how this should be said, I started loving her centuries ago, my love for her is not something deemed by time, I opened my eyes zillions of times, started a new day, but when I close my eyes, it's always her, the picture of her smiling burns in my brain, she is the warmth I needed for my cold barren lifeless heart. It's funny how I left her, the thought of her inevitable death drove me mad. I thought I wouldn't be able to take her death so I left her before she could leave me… I'm such a coward. If I weren’t I would have a few more moments to cherish her, to love her, to feel loved by her and to grieve her. Such a fool I am.

After all this infinite time I learned it’s not the sorrow that's painful but the absolute absence of any emotion. there is a beauty in the sadness, sorrow and grief you suffer through for your loved ones. They are reminders of your love for them, they are reminders of their presence even in their absence. I replayed the moment I left her so many times that I lost count for all the things I could have done different, for all the soul yearning kisses, for all the bone crushing hugs, for all the early morning coffees, the late-night banters and million mediocre situations which become special just by her presence. if only I could undo what I have done, if only I get another chance.

To swallow all this sorrow and make an illusion of living I go out, do a job, smile at strangers at shopping malls, grocery shops and all sorts of random places because I know, mortal or immortal we are all lonely in our own ways, maybe we can make each other feel a little better.

It's morning

Again... It's all the same, I’m at a grocery shop trying to move to next aisle and someone is in my way, as usual I tried to smile at this random stranger who came across by mere coincidence, when I looked at her my world stopped those the same kind eyes I always dreamed about. It's the same smile that burned in my head, it's the same brown curly hair chaotic, messy and beautiful. Wait I have to be dreaming, I am dreaming, this is not possible. Then I heard her voice, this is happening. Now her beautiful face staring at me as surprised as I am, may be this is the universe giving me another chance and I'm not being a coward this time, this time I would spend every moment with her till her death, this time I'm not afraid of her death, this time I'm afraid of losing her even when she is alive, this time I'm going do this right. So I gathered every sense of myself and told "hello" This is the start of our love story and this time I'm not afraid of the ending.