Do a search for "transgender," "or "transexual" here on Reddit. Chances are you will find a long list of subs that present transgender people as sex objects. In fact, if a naive person saw that listing, they probably would assume that all transgender people are a lab-created sexual toy. And sadly, we in the community are complicit in creating this perception.

If anyone knows me or checks out my personal page, you will see that I am VERY sex positive. Certainly not a prude in any way. But that is only one aspect of my being. Being transgender comes from the deepest part of me. It affects how I think, how I see the world, It affects my emotions and interactions with others.

My womanliness is inborn, not the product of a plastic surgeon or an estrogen injection. Those assists mostly help to present a person to the world more closely aligned with to the gender they feel inside.

But physical alterations and hormonal corrections have also allowed us to become sexually objectified.

If you feel inclined and are over the age of 18, visit one of those NSFW subreddits. You will find photo after photo of (virtually all) pre-op transgender women, splayed out, exposing their genitals or engaging in a sex act.

As I said, I am very sex positive and have more than a few kinks myself. But these quasi-pornographic subs give the impression that ALL transgender people are proud about sharing images of their naughty bits (news flash: they're not!) and are engaged in some form of pay-for-play. Either via online sites or as sex workers. Again, we are not.

What isn't displayed on these subs are discussions of the gender and body dysphoria most transgender people suffer. What the general public doesn't see is the loneliness and fear many in our community endure. And what is never mentioned is how transgender people are just people, living their lives, trying to work (another challenge for many of us), and otherwise trying to find their place in an unforgiving, cruel and dangerous world.

I started the MI_Transgender_Friend sub with the intention of creating a safe space for those in the transgender community to openly present themselves. Without having to get naked and take photos of themselves exposing their genitals. Most of us have taken the leap and come out. That was the first, most important, and probably scariest step. But now we have to show the world--whether we like it or not--that we are real and not some lusting, fratboys fantasy.

I am not your toy.