One of the major problems with social media is that it reduces all human interaction down to a handful of words.

As such, instead of thoughtful conversations, like we have in everyday life, we speak in partial sentences, poorly phrased snippets, that reveal little to the recipient and often reflect badly on the sender.

As many women know, our DMs here on Reddit (and elsewhere) are filled with come-ons from strangers. Presumably most are male, but it isn't always clear how old they are. Often, these messages are simple "What's up?" or "Wanna hook up?" or, too often, crude invitations to engage in sex. I have to wonder if the sender of those messages ever gets a positive response. Do they actually think that such language is going to woo a woman whom they have never met?

For all women, these messages carry the potential of violence. Is this just a lonely incel fulfilling his fantasies by sending out suggestive DMs? Or is this a rapist, seeking his next victim? For a trans woman, the fear is even greater. They, WE, experience the threat of violence far more often than a cis woman when meeting a man.

But then, I know that there are some men who sincerely want to meet me. Men who may be taken by my profile or photo. They may be perfect gentlemen, someone who I actually may have a good time with should we ever meet. Sadly, due to fear of the unknown, meeting such a person via social media is virtually impossible.

I have suggestions, though, for any man--for any human being of any gender, in fact--about how to compose a message and approach a stranger on social media.

Be respectful. Be polite. Have something to say and don't go right to sexual innuendos or make suggestive propositions. And send a face photo along with your message. A women meeting you in public would have that privilege, so why not make it so when introducing yourself to someone online?

And if you do make a connection, propose a meet-up or a date that lessens the fear of a sexual ambush.

Propose meeting for coffee in a well-known location. If she isn't a coffee drinker, ask her for her favorite dining spot. And when you meet, ask her about herself. A trans woman is just like a cis woman. If you don't understand that, you shouldn't be seeking us out online. We are more than a fetish.

-- Anni