Sometimes fate--and biology--deals you a crappy hand. Due to the fact that I have had two pituitary tumor surgeries, that hormone-producing gland doesn't work like its supposed to. That being the case, I have to take testosterone injections just to stay alive. That being the case also means that I cannot take estrogen and I'm doomed to the state I was born into.

Like other trans people, from birth, the gender in my mind and physical body never matched up. It has meant a lifetime of struggle and hiding and at times, shame. But gradually, that has all changed and I am now fully reborn as the woman I always felt inside me.

But with the faulty pituitary, how could I ever match my outer look with my inner?

I not only have begun putting together a feminine wardrobe, and working diligently on my makeup skills, but I began to lose weight.

The weight I had become was too much to squeeze into the pretty clothes that I eyed in women's stores and online. Sure, I could hide it all behind moo moos and hope that my makeup could do the rest. But realistically, I was never going to look like the woman I saw in my mind without drastically losing weight.

To that end, I began dieting in February of this year. I have always been health conscious, and maintained an active lifestyle. The advent of the COVID pandemic slowed my roll, however, and the pounds added on. I hated what I looked like and what I was doing to my health. I had to do something.

I have lost weight the old-fashion way: by cutting down on the unnecessary calories I was consuming, reducing the carbohydrates and increasing the protein (I am a vegetarian and that is an ongoing battle), and by walking. I walk several miles a day, rain or shine.

This program has worked for me. I have dropped almost 45 pounds at this point. I feel better, I think I look better and best of all--I can finally start wearing the clothes I wanted to wear.

I'm still not where I want to be. I want to lose more to get back to my ideal weight. And I know I can do it.

Yes, my transition hasn't taken the usual route. But I will get there and I will be the woman I was meant to be.