I can understand that. I was not always this way. I actually had a lot of work to do before I got myself here. I struggled with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia for years. When I got into this work it was because I wanted to show others that you can feel good about your body despite your differences, but I definitely considered others finding out that I do this work, and wondered about what they would think, especially with me doing more than just being naked. Something that I thought about with that was my dead husband, and how ultimately, no one's opinion of how he lived his life ended up mattering. The only thing that mattered in the end was him doing what made him happy. So I decided I didn't want to let potential judgement from others stop me. If someone judges me for doing this and I feel shame, that's me taking the shame from their judgment. But I can quite literally say no... I won't take that. Other's opinions and judgements are just reflections of their own belief systems and as long as I'm living my life with integrity to my own values, that's all I need to be concerned with.
As for the body confidence, if there's interest, I can make some videos on my process to throw onto youtube. It took me about a good 8 months of solid work to get into a place of love and acceptance for my body....mental work... I didn't change my diet or exercise and I lost 8 pounds just from changing my mental state. Later I did get diagnosed with menieres disease and had to cut out most salt, and lost another 7 pounds in water weight. However, my whole goal with the internal work I did was to love and accept myself the way I was because if nothing about me ever changed, I wanted to not hate my body. I was tired of it.

Okay, first off, I appreciate the belief that you're lucky. I think that kind of thinking can do a lot for us. And I feel you on that. I try to be open, but if the feeling I get from someone is off then that sticks with me until I can figure out if there's a good reason behind why I got that feeling or if the person is really just not a good person for me to be around. Generally, the only time I'd continue to be around others that rubbed me the wrong way is because of a work environment. I wouldn't try to hang around them as a potential friend or date if that was my first impression.

How nice are you to yourself? My personal experience has been that the better I have treated myself over the years, the less bullshit I tolerate from others because I know I don't deserve to be treated like that, and I have no problems cutting those people out of my life if need be.
Do you have any fears about drawing boundaries with those people?

That's a fair assessment. While I think altruism is noble, I am a firm believer in caring for yourself first. When I am nourished and cared for, I can do a better job caring for others.

Thank you! I appreciate that! And it's great to have opinions. Echo chambers don't provide growth for anyone.

So I will say that I think that seeking external sources of validation for our looks (or most things about who we are) is not a great idea. Like at all lol. But, here's why....when we rely on external sources for validation then as soon as someone says something negative, it can shake our world and throw us into an unstable mental state. When you are the source of your own validation, your confidence will shine and what other's say really doesn't matter. You don't need to seek anything because you already have it.

I'm sorry to hear you felt like a bad person. That's a heavy weight to carry and I think when we feel like that, shifting out of it can be difficult. I'm glad you're in a place to see your value in this world.

Awe why thank you.
I hope you're able to continue shifting out of your people pleasing and put yourself first, and also create healthy boundaries with others. It feels wonderful to make that shift.

Is that who you're with now? Obv I don't know the whole back story here, but to just tell someone they are a shitty lay is not helpful. My husband loved to tell people about how when we first got together our sex was terrible... and I'm telling you it really was lol. But .... the caveat is that we loved each other and we communicated about our wants and needs, and it ended up being the best sex either of us had ever experienced. Being able to be open and communicate is so important. You can't just expect someone to fuck your brains out the way you've always desired without working up to that point.

That's a great quality to have!

Thank you!

ayyy.... on the OF you can for sure

Thank you!

That's great!

hahaha.... that would be a good position to do it in, huh

I'm sorry to hear that. What's keeping you from placing a boundary there and claiming what you're worth?

Alright, I can definitely appreciate that. What's something you currently do that uplifts or respects women?

What steps do you think you can take to be a better person? Is there anything holding you back from doing those things?

I love that for you. I'm so happy you are that person and that you can see that in yourself. Thank you for being a good human in this world.

Thank you!

I think many people do. They over compensate to hide what they haven't worked through yet. Are you working on your insecurities or what's your plan there?

I think our mental state can definitely be hell. How's life after the crash? Are you happy to be alive or are you miserable for one reason or another?

oh shit... well, you might just try being unavailable. Go out and get some hobbies you enjoy and in that you can meet people who you enjoy doing those thing with. Meeting people for joy is so much better than meeting people for their own needs and then ours not being met. But sometimes we have to go out and create a new circle. I wish you the best on that.

Ooof... no combat here, and I'm sure this certainly is not the same, but I do miss my adrenaline junkie days before my car accident. I barrel raced horses, trail rode dirt bikes and loved doing jumps on them. Now I can't do any of that. That was really hard for me for a long time. Basically nothing in my life at this point gives me that kind of adrenaline. I also was a terrible drug addict for years, so that whole life style is an adrenaline rush of it's own.
What do you do now for yourself? Do you have things that you get to do that you really enjoy or what's your lifestyle like now?

What are you talking about?

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you! .... do you love what you see with yourself?

Thank you!

Thank you!

That's awesome. I think being able to laugh with your partner during sex can be really sweet and intimate.

hahaha... lucky me! lol

hahaha.... lucky dresser, huh?

Well, there's actually nothing wrong with being alone. If you aren't happy being alone then I'd like to encourage you to think about what would make you happy in life. What are the things that you want to accomplish that would make you feel fulfilled before you die? We can't always accomplish all of those, but even if it's connection you're seeking, I'd first get connected with myself and start listening to my intuition, and putting myself and my self care first. And then do activities or volunteer work that allows me to connect with others in meaningful ways. Often when we give value to others lives, it can help lift us up in ways we haven't experienced before... just my personal experience.

Thank you!

hahaha thank you!

Thank you!