I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting honestly, as I’ve been working on my mental health and working through complex long-standing traumas throughout my life up until this point.

I’ve always struggled with understanding my emotions and feelings (as an AuHD individual), my emotions and feelings have always been very confusing and sometimes very overwhelming; difficult to process and interpret for me.

I’ve have always been a sex positive person, I found safety in kink, because there was structure, rules and expectations; set boundaries. Things that as someone on the spectrum, are very important and necessary for me to feel comfortable and relaxed. And it was easier and a more enjoyable to me than traditional sexual encounters and relationships of that nature.

I do have some sexual urges and desires occasionally, but generally it’s more the fantasy and idea, versus the actual act with another person. I occasionally enjoy in engaging in sexual activities with people. Overall at this point in my mental health journey, I’ve come to realize I don’t really desire sexual stuff with people a ton, I don’t miss or feel like I’m lacking in that sort of engagement of intimacy with someone. It’s been a complicated well sometimes yes but mostly no. I just don’t—overall—feel a lot of sexual attraction towards people. I’ve come to realize.

I think I am panromantic and on the ace spectrum.