Hi again, everyone. Here we are in another week - what, how did that happen!?

Life. Life moves fast, sometimes. I had a really awesome weekend with my kids. I made "fluffy slime*" for the first time and, because I am who I am, decided to double the recipe. Now I'm googling about how to get slime out of various things. Good times 🙃

I've been thinking a lot about what to do, moving forward, and I don't have a definite answer yet. Losing that server felt, in some ways, like losing an appendage or a loved one. We shared a lot of incredible stuff together over the past year, and it is sad to see it gone. But, as most of you know, I had been so busy with life's obligations for the past few months that I had hardly been present on the server. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was doing my best to attend to my children, my own health and wellness, and two very full jobs (I now have narrated something like 27 books, just between April and October!!) and there was very little left of me, of time, etc., even when I did have a spare weekend. I hated like hell that I couldn't be more present. I miss those long, live performances, collaborating with other performers, and even just the randomly meandering conversations about life, parenting, sexuality, gender, and religion we sometimes got into. I miss it all, and yet, I didn't seem to be able to make room for it.

Enter the very unsettling situation I found myself in this past month - a Real Life thing with a neighbor who was harassing and threatening me. He said something that freaked me out so much, I panicked -- I was convinced in that moment that he was going to try to ruin me and something in what he said made me think he might have found out about the Discord server, and ... well, I panicked. I hit the panic button and didn't even stop to consider the feelings of everyone in the server, or to warn anyone. For that, I am very sorry. It wasn't at all my intent to hurt anyone.

So what's next?

Good question.

I am not ready to Be Done making erotic audio. Sharing that experience with you, live, was one of my great joys over the past year. I want to keep doing it, but I need to be safe, and I need to be smarter about it. I am going to sit tight for a little while, put my head down and work work work, care for my children, and see how things develop with this neighbor. Whittle away at my workload, and think things through some more. At the moment, I am inclined to start a new server that will be a bit more bare-bones; despite my rampant exhibitionism, I will have to find a way to be safer with sharing of photos and such, and a new server will likely not include a channel chock-full of naughty pics of me, alas, but that's not why any of you were there in the first place. I want to resume doing live shows - and collabs - and occasional book work sessions, but if I do it, I will do it a bit more carefully and mindfully. And, someday soon, perhaps my life will have settled down to the extent that I can make live shows a regular thing again. Wouldn't that be glorious?

Thank you, again, to each of you for your support. This has been an immensely stressful time -- several stressors converging all at once -- financial, work, familial -- it's been rough, but I have also felt very supported and I've felt that you, as a community I'm part of, have had my back. Thank you. I miss you. I am grateful to you. Please stay tuned for Next Steps :)

\ "fluffy slime" - not a fetish, you weirdo. at least, not in this context :)*