Something has been on my mind for the last few days.

I have written a few scripts with the always controversial CW: R involved lately. I always sort of feel funny about it after I do. I probably won't, going forward.

There are a few pieces of personal stuff involved in how I feel about writing this most taboo of topics.

I like consent. I think few things are as hot as knowing the other person wants to get down as much as I do (or more, even, as my ego apparently needs some stroking too). As I have always stated, I think of myself as an entertainer - not in any big self-important way or anything. I'm realistic about what this venue is. I just mean that I put stuff out there because it seems like an interesting idea and I think somebody will like it. Granted, the majority of my content is stuff I suspect people will like because I like it, but some of it is just an idea that seems like it might scratch somebody's specific itch.

I enjoy knowing that somebody's itch has been scratched. In this extremely delicate subject, however, I think I need to leave it to those with that itch to write the thing that scratches it. I want to be clear that I have no problems with people being into R content, and I will die on that hill for the sake of people who are (purely as a simulation, obviously). Some of my best friends do an absolutely brilliant job of producing this content, and I will go to bat for them every time somebody tries to go full abolishionist. It's fantasy entertainment. The Empire blew up Alderaan. That doesn't mean we abolish Star Wars for depicting geocide.

There is plenty of latent hypocrisy in there as well, and I want to own that. I always end up feeling less weird about writing the subject when it's a guy who isn't given the choice. This, I think, exemplifies why I'm too removed to do it well. I think I feel more comfortable with this content when it is a guy being forced or coerced because, beimg a guy and putting myself in that position, I can more readily say, "Okay, this is a simulation, and by merit of my choosing to be here to experience it, I do actually want it." This is something I call meta-consent. You decided to be here for it if you clicked on it and the tags were accurate.

I know that the same is true for stories in which a woman is victimized, but I have a harder time creating the content, I guess because I'm not one, and because it is that little bit closer to the real, sometimes ugly and barbaric world we shouldn't live in but do. This is probably also why all my R content has an element of the impossible to it. To be fair, almost all of my content has an element of the impossible to it, but it helps when, right out of the gate, it's a scenario that isn't going to play out in reality.

Power discrepancy is another matter, by the way. Two thumbs up. Three things up. That isn't the same and I hate it when people conflate the two.

I wish I could express myself concisely, because holy shit this is getting long. I've never really even been good at writing this stuff anyway. If nothing else, I'm kind of a hopeless sap and I like happy endings. I tried writing a thing for somebody once, and I'm not going to say who, but they wanted really cruel and brutal, and all my attempts were just comically bad, because at the end of the day, I am a big soft butterball teddy bear snuggle guy at heart, and really personally mean as it relates to sex just isn't in my repertoire as a writer. So when I'm not writing my book (in which mutual enthusiasm is a big thing), you can expect me to produce stuff a little more like my roots, in which everybody comes away having had an enjoyable experience generally ending like some kind of low-budget porn version of a Shakespearean comedy but with monsters because fuck it, why not?

So, TLDR - Probably not going to write any more R content, unless the R is because it is one of the weird conditions that come up in GWA where it isn't R but we have decided the tag still applies. People like what they like in their fantasies, and in general, if it's a fantasy, that's fine, but I might not be cut out to make it. Have a lovely 24 hours wherever your timezone puts you in that range, and I imagine I'll be back with more monstrous entities that can't wait to absolutely destroy a bed with a willing partner. Acro out.