Welcome back! In the last "episode," I promised to write about my New Year's resolutions, and that I will. But first, a detour.

A few days ago, in a fit of inspiration, I sat down with my phone and tapped out a love letter to the band Sade, covering some of what I think sets them apart from other artists (a lot), and what I like about them (also a lot).

Once it was finished, I posted it to r/Sade for feedback and hopefully to trade recommendations.

The sub was welcoming, and the comments were interesting and thoughtful. There were insightful analyses and recommendations. There were even a couple comments praising my writing itself. I was touched and inspired.

Trouble in paradise

Everything was "feel[ing] right, so fine. I'm yours, you're mine." But then, among the positive comments, came one that was not exactly negative but not exactly positive either. It read:

I am 99% certain this was ai written ^

I wasn't sure what to make of it. I'd never been accused of being a computer before.

I had two choices: brush it off like a sane person or let it "haunt me in my dreams" until I wrote a long, rambling screed about it. Of course, I chose the latter.

Why

It wasn't that the comment was critical per se....The commenter was just trying to look out for the community. But it struck at the root of our ability to have a conversation.

If we think our writing is AI generated, then how can we convince each other through writing that it's not? We might not be able to. Anonymous online conversation becomes impossible at that point. And I like anonymous online conversation.

Plus, I was curious how actual AI would approach the analysis. So I headed over to ChatGPT.

Does ChatGPT understand Sade?

I told ChatGPT to write about tender yet unsentimental sadness in "Cherish the Day," one of the subjects of my original post.

It wrote:

The song exemplifies the paradox that runs through much of Sade’s music: it conveys deep emotion and vulnerability, but without indulging in melodrama or sentimentality.

A decent start, if mostly paraphrasing my prompt.

Next, I asked it to write about how, specifically, the music of "Cherish the Day" exemplifies that. It replied:

In the chorus, where the lyric "Cherish the day" is repeated, the chord progression might shift slightly to emphasize the central message, but it still retains a delicate sadness.

It's already gone off the rails.

This is a hallucination. The chord progression doesn't "shift slightly" anywhere in "Cherish the Day." It's an endlessly repeated fall and reset—Sisyphus in a downward direction.

For a few bars at 2 minutes 36 seconds in the music video, the chord progression disappears, going silent. But that isn't a slight shift. If my car vanished out from under me and my body collided with the pavement at full speed, I wouldn't tell paramedics my car had experienced a "slight shift." And this change doesn't happen "in the chorus, where the lyric 'Cherish the day' is repeated."

ChatGPT's analysis is already worthless.

It gets worse

ChatGPT goes on to write:

The Gmaj7 chord, with its added 7th note (F#), has a smooth, jazzy quality that provides a sense of longing and wistfulness. It’s a major chord, but the 7th adds a softness and depth that prevents it from sounding too bright or optimistic.

First, there is no Gmaj7 in "Cherish the Day." ChatGPT seems to be trying to describe the Bbmaj7.

Second, the observations about the major seventh's function are completely divorced from the context of "Cherish the Day." It's almost as if ChatGPT is just regurgitating what it knows about major sevenths in general, irrespective of this particular major seventh's function within the song. (Less "almost as if" and more "I'm sure that's exactly what's going on here.")

ChatGPT says the seventh stops the chord from sounding "too bright or optimistic." But here the seventh actually does brighten the chord. I described it as a ray of sunlight piercing the clouds in my original post. It's bright, almost glaring, but also uplifting and comforting in a fierce, protective kind of way.

How is this possible, if I agree with ChatGPT that major sevenths convey "longing and wistfulness" and keep chords from "sounding too bright or optimistic"? Well, because here in particular, that seventh is an A natural in the key of C minor. And that changes the color of it completely.

What's the deal with an A natural in the key of C minor?

Joe Hisaishi's "Legend of the Wind" from 1984's Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind has just started playing in my head. If you haven't heard it, I'd encourage you to listen to the first 40 seconds in the link below. Then treat yourself by finishing the whole thing. It's only two minutes long, and the build to the passionate, anguished cry of the ninth at 1:30 has just left me in goosebumps, as I hope it will you. (Sade uses a lot of ninths in their melodies, so you should feel right at home.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0V5GdEGd-4

Isn't it stunning? What you're hearing is mostly just two chords, C minor and F major, back and forth, over and over.

The C minor chord is the same as the first chord in "Cherish the Day." It's not only the same chord but in the same key.

The second chords of both songs also mirror each other. One is F and the other is Bbmaj7, but two key notes in them are identical: F and A natural.

That A natural is a major sixth. It's a marker of Dorian mode, also called Russian minor. The sixth in that mode creates a sense of uplift. It's like keeping your chin up in the face of adversity. It electrifies me every time I hear it, and breaks my heart as well.

Joe Hisaishi uses it in "Legend of the Wind" to convey a fierce, almost ferocious sense of determination, echoing the theme of a princess striving to protect her country.

In "Cherish the Day," Sade softens that with the B flat and D natural in the Bbmaj7—hence why I called it loving and caring in my original post. The determination is still there; the new notes just make it more personal. It becomes intimate—like a mother's protectiveness of her child, as opposed to a princess's protectiveness of her people.

In both chords, the A naturals are key to their spine-tingling power. They're a sharp, bright cut, like a ray of sunlight slicing through the clouds.

But that's subjective

True. Which might be the main reason why I hate AI content so much, in the final analysis.

An essential part of discussing music is engaging with one another's emotions. Why my original post resonated with some on r/Sade, I'd guess, is partly just that they were happy to encounter another person who's deeply passionate about Sade's music, just like they are.

AI can never go on that emotional journey with us. It can only simulate it. It can tell you that "Cherish the Day" evokes this or that feeling, but it has never experienced those feelings for itself. And it never will.

Anyway, I suppose this has been hashed and rehashed in AI think pieces for years now. This is just the first time AI's artistic applications have affected me so personally, and it got the wheels turning. I figured it would be interesting to write about, and it was.

Plus, it was fun to see ChatGPT crash and burn on "Cherish the Day." I really hate AI-generated writing.