⚠️EXPLICIT RP INVOLVED⚠️

Another memory of an ex from my past. This one is dark, and not for the faint of heart. Read at your own discretion...

Back in the early 00's, I was active in the AOL chatrooms, talking to people, flirting, truth or dare, etc, had even met 3 of the women I'd been talking to at 3 different times from 05 to 08. One of those meetings was with (let's call her...) AH. This is a memory of her.

We had talked on AOL for a few months, things seemed to go pretty well, and we agreed to meet up in her state. I took a one week round trip flight to go see her and it went well. This was in 2008. After I got back to my home state, we talked another month, and she asked me to come live with her. She was set... Good job, her own house, I had savings and my own car, so I wouldn't be a burden on her being there, and could find work. We agreed on the date, I packed up, and left for her place. About an 8 hour drive, no problem. I get there, get settled in, things going good, met some of her friends and family, no problems.

On a side note, she had somewhat of an anal kink. She and her husband (years prior, had passed away 2 years before I met her) would have anal. She would peg him, he'd go in her ass. She wanted to try with me, and that became the first and only time I took a dildo in me. Didn't like it, she was ok with it, just curious to know if I would or not. Not a dealbreaker. This led to us talking about kinks, fantasies, and RP. And this is where things got weird.

I told her my thing was having my way with her, with her (faking of course, all consensual) trying to resist, but giving in. A type of CNC if you will, but not aggressive r*pe type shit. No, just no. Her ideas were taking it from her when she least expected it. Come up behind her, push her to the wall, yank her drawers down, and go to poundtown, or bend her over the counter/table, or get her in the the shower. She liked that shit, and I'll admit... So did I. So I asked her if she had anything she'd like to try because it's only fair. I get good nookie, so should she. She gets shy.

I tell her "You can't scare me, just don't cut body parts off and I'm good". She laughed and said "oh kay..."

She looks at me and says "I have a fantasy about a family friend, a neighbor, who comes in and takes advantage of me. Just, takes what he wants and leaves me there full of his cum." I'm a little shocked but said "Ok, kinda lines up with me having my way. Sure, I can play the neighbor for ya. Just fill me in on the details so I do it the way you imagine." She gets shy again. I gently nudge her and say "Hey, we don't have to talk about it if it's that embarrassing for you. I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me. You can tell me anything you want to, and I won't judge you or make fun. I'm here for YOU." She looks back at me with a small smile and says "Ok, here goes..."

"I imagine being on the floor, coloring in my coloring books, and my parents have to leave. They ask the neighbor to look after me while they're gone." She paused to gauge my reaction so far. It's slowly dawning on me what this might be, so I say "Uh, how old are you in this thought? 16?" She says "No. Younger." I blink. "Ok, 14?" She says "No". I say "12?" and my voice cracked a bit from nerves. She said "No, younger." By now she's looking at the floor. I ask ever so gently "Honey, did this actually happen to you when you were young? I'm not upset or anything, just wondering if this is something that happened and turned into a desire for you. It's happened to others before." She looks at me...

"When I was 7, my parents would go shopping, or to a relatives house, or wherever, and they'd always ask our family friend, our neighbor who we knew forever, to babysit me till they got back. There were a few times he'd have his way with me, but always scared me about telling my parents, so I never said anything. He did this till I was 10" and she started crying. Not from horror or pain of the memory. She was crying because she thought that I thought she was a horrible person. I comforted her, told her she's fine, I'm fine, we're fine. She calms down and we talk a little more.

I tell her I've never been around a situation like this, nor been asked to do such a thing. I'm 38 and she's 40, and wants to pretend she's 7 and I'm using her for my lust. It was a hard thing to wrap my head around. She told me she didn't want to dress the part, but the coloring book part of it was the thing she wanted. Along side the talking of an adult (me) to a 7 yo (her) about how wrong it was but how good it felt being taken by a grown man. Throw in the 'dont tell your parents' lines, and she'd be in heaven. I told her I needed time to consider all this, but I wouldn't ask for anything for my fantasies till I decided, to be fair to her. We agreed.

It took time, but I worked up the courage to try a few things with it, to get myself accustomed to doing this for her.

Keep in mind, this was about 8 months after I moved in, and another couple weeks after she told me this. We loved each other deeply, talked about marriage and all, so of course I'm wanting to make her happy. Happy wife happy life, right?

One weekend I decide to try this out. I had gotten a few coloring books and crayons on my way home from work one day, hid them from her and didn't mention anything. I got up early Sat morn, and layed the books out on the floor of the living room, with the box of crayons, got my coffee and sat on the couch. About 10 mins later, she comes out, walks past everything to get her coffee, comes back, sees the books and crayons, and stops. She looked at me and her face was flushed red big-time. "I just came" she said. I was shocked. Just the sight of that was enough to get her off. She said "Really? Really really?" like it was the best moment of her life. She's shaking, coffee splashing everywhere, and smiling so big. I said "Yes, I want to try for you. I love you and want to make you happy." I swear the high-pitched squeak of a squeal that came out of her should have shattered all the windows. I said "I guess that's a yes, you're ready?" She just nods excitedly.

I won't go into explicit details other than I did try to be the neighbor man, and treat her like the girl I'm babysitting. I couldn't finish. I just couldn't. It twisted my stomach to the point I had to run to the bathroom. AH was upset, and I had to tell her I couldn't do it, I just felt so wrong trying. We agreed to not do that again, but the relationship just wasn't the same afterwards. We broke up 3 months later, and I moved back to where I came from, and didn't speak with her anymore. Haven't to this day.

I will never ever do that again.