My TF and I are Spiritually Bonded and ended up getting Trauma Bonded (see previous posts to read my experience). We were together for 6 years. The first 3 were great, although not perfect as we still had fights, but the last 3 everything fell apart.

Neither of us were whole people when we met. I was running from my demons, while she was strung out on opiates and running from hers. I abused her by words and saying nasty things to her, things I’d literally never say to another human. I pushed her to her limits which inevitably caused her to cheat on me (this happened 7-8 months ago).

The past 8 months I’ve been struggling to let go of her. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to “completely” let go. She’s went back and forth so many times with the idea of getting back together; then tells me she cannot. I’ve done sooooo much the past 8 months to show her how much she deserves the best of me, only to find out she’s Snapchatting sexy pics to another guy and really just doesn’t seem to care at all.

Technically she’s single but it just feels like she’s still stuck in this reactive abuse state. She’s continuing to do things to hurt me as it seems. It’s like the tighter I grip, the more she does to push me away. The push/pull is beginning to make me sick. I’ve been the chaser most of the last 8 months, however, there was a point that I started to pull away and become the runner… then she immediately became the chaser for a moment.

It’s like all I’m left to do is completely walk away. But how can I ever come back to someone who cheated, then continues promiscuously to message other guys and flirt? while she knows I’m actively trying to win her back.

It’s unfair, I have a huge love hate relationship with this dynamic. Our souls are bonded 100% - we had a full Kundalini Awakening when our souls became one and we had full telepathic conversations the entire night it happened. She has a piece of my soul and I have a piece of hers, but she’s losing my heart.

It’s driving me crazy and I have no choice but to walk away. Apart of me wants to travel to Thailand or Bali to learn how to break this soul tie…