On the 18th I took a great looking progress picture (6wpo). It had a pretty great response and I was starting to feel great. I sent it with a few issues to surgeon, they wanted to see me Friday (21st). I was aware I was probably being cut open again. This time no one around in my life to support me. I drove myself 3 hours to and 3 hours from surgery. No pain meds this time around (I decided against taking them so I could drive myself and still work).

I know the results are just going to be even better and it's all going to be worth it in the end. Right now having no one to help me physically or emotionally is so draining. The pain is driving me crazy. I just slept all day because of the pain. I feel like I am starving and I know I need to eat to heal but I am just so sick of being overweight and I feel so close to being happy with my body but I am not.

I ended up not being able to take it anymore and kind of snapped. Despite my new stitches, and new wound that has 0 stitches (pictures 4 -> 5), I decided if I was going to be stuck alone in this much pain, I would rather be in more pain by choice. So I went outside and ran a couple of miles until I almost collapsed. Shockingly did not rip any stitches and bleeding was minimal.

The moral of the story is, this surgery is stressful! Highly suggest you have a few people who you really trust to have your back through whatever happens. I have no one right now, and it's all so overwhelming. The pain is causing some terrible mood swings for me. I am already at a real low point in my life right now. Just keep telling myself a few more months and it will all be worth it.