My girlfriend had decided that she wanted to dedicate a night to measuring me and looking at penis size statistics to see how I compare.

She stripped and sat on my face to ensure that I’d be fully hard before pulling out a miniature measuring tape and going to work on recording all of my measurements. After she was done she got off of me, lay beside me and started whispering stats into my ear whilst holding my dick with 2 fingers.

“In a room with 1000 men, all 1000 would be bigger… how does it feel knowing that you’ll have the smallest dick in every room you enter?”

“Even if you were hard and they were all flaccid, you’d only be bigger than 10 guys”

The craziest stat was that I’d need to be in a room with over 10 million (can’t remember the exact figure) other men before someone was smaller than me. My girlfriend burst out laughing at this and said “that means you have the smallest dick in the whole country”