So, this is last year at a festival I'll be going to again in a few weeks (for any Australians here, it's Elements).

It was the last night, and from 8pm to 10pm, I took 2 caps of champagne MDMA, 300µg of acid, and I smoked a couple of cones of changa.

Anyway, cutting out the hours of 11 to 5 (fucking incredible visuals btw, I could literally feel energy fields, and everyone at our camp site was seeing the exact same shit), it gets to 5:30am and everyone goes to bed. I seriously doubt anyone got any sleep, because this is where things get fucking interesting.

The visuals continued as the sun started to rise. The DMT started to really take root. If I stopped looking around and just stared at one spot, my whole vision would just turn to spiritual mush. Fucking great. I couldn't close my eyes though, I kept seeing impossible waveforms made out of fractals and it was too much. I fucking understood infinity.

So far, this has been only 10 minutes, and we still have an hour and a half to go (if you know, you know). I ended up at the very centre of reality. I was god, and experienced the splitting of one to two, blanketing it in reality and physics, and then it happened.

I felt a surge of pure creative energy rush through me, I kept seeing an image of just female legs and vaginas all mushing together, and then I felt the big bang happen. The big bang is one enormous cum. The most explosive energy in the universe is an orgasm. Feminine energy only wants to create. Masculine energy wants to examine and take apart in order to learn. This is the purpose of existence. To live, to learn, to duplicate, to die, repeat. And each time it repeats, an infinite amount of knowledge is gained, and evolution continues at a speed beyond exponential.

However, infinity has a limit, there's somehow still more to learn. You, me, us, the universe is constantly trying to unfold itself in order to see itself from the outside. And I'm not talking about our universe. I'm talking about literally existing. Energy. Energy is always constantly trying to fill a void, and counscousness is an eventuality of energy. How can it move and Interact if it cannot decide to do so?

By the way, this is half an hour so far.

But also, how can it make any decision if there's nothing to stimulate it. The answer to the chicken and the egg question is completely fucking irrelevant. It doesn't matter. Both must exist in order to solve a paradox. And consciousness does this by splitting into individual parts, each with the goal simply learning what it is meant to even do.

God doesn't fucking know what its purpose is. Then the ego death shows it's unforgiving head. I won't go into it too much, but it was fucking shattering beyond all measure. But then I came back to this thought train. What am I meant to do? Well, nothing has meaning if I don't create meaning for it. And I do this by experiencing and observing things already created.

I created the playground, now I create puzzles to solve. Problems, if you will. I suffer, because my soul on the deepest and most unified level finds it interesting, and wants to know more. It must know more, for that is its true purpose, even if it forgets this fact from time to time.

I forgot to mention, I stood in my tent naked for most of this with my gf asleep (she doesn't like tripping, she had fun just drinking).

We get up to the hour mark, and I finally have to leave the tent. I step outside and my legs completely dissolved into the earth. I have to pee, so take the long and perilous 20 metre walk to the toilet. I looked in the mirror and saw my father which was cool.

Back in the tent, I strip naked again. This time I lay down in bed. The next big question comes up, 'what's the reward for creation? Sure, I learn from it, but besides that, there's no other point. I then looked over to my GF asleep. She looked like Aya, and was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. She looked both ancient and young. Then it hit me. Anything I do in my life that's worth anything, is for her. We split into parts, then forget everything before we start on a new incarnation. This is to share our experiences and our creations with someone. We provide our own praise and reward, because there is literally no one else, because that's all we need.

It. An interesting word. I plus T. I, meaning individual. T symbolising the balancing scale that completes the word. She completes me. I am whole again.

Thanks for coming to TripED Talk. Sorry if that sounded batshit haha.