I remember it was a nice, sunny day and I had been wanting to trip with one of my friends, J. We’d usually get an Airbnb or hotel but wanted to try an outside trip, so we planned to walk along this big bayou/park trail.

We get there and get a feel for the scenery, just smoking a blunt while walking around for a bit. It had been a lot hotter than expected, and my dumbass had only brought 4 bottles of water, some snacks, and a can of Arizona tea in hopes that it’d have the same effect as a lemon tek. At the time I thought this was enough but you’ll see why later on this went terribly wrong… After some time walking around, we found a secluded table and bench next to a gated property, where we sat and scaled out our shrooms. I don’t remember how much i had but I know because it was my first outside trip it was on the lighter side, maybe a little over a gram.

After ingesting, we continued to walk and talk until we got tired and sat on another bench. We smoked once again and sat around until we started to feel the comeup. I remember feeling strangely calm, stoned, but hyper aware of all the sounds around us and the textures on the ground. I could almost feel nature’s presence.

Eventually we got back up and continued our trek until stopping off to the side so J could throw up. After walking a little farther, I too began to feel that dreadful urge to purge. Luckily it came with ease as I was back in the trail within a minute. This fucked me over because at this point I had already drank majority of my water, then threw it back up, but of course I didn’t understand what that meant in the moment.

I remember somewhere along the walk, a huge bug landed on me and it freaked me out. J said he could see the distress on my face and knew this is where things were about to go down hill for me. From that point on I just remember being on edge and irritated. Every time my friend would talk to me I would cut him short, responding with less enthusiasm and more frustration each time. I was in a bad mood and would realize how much of an ass I was being after the words left my mouth, but couldn’t control my temper and didn’t know why. He could clearly see something was wrong since the change came so abruptly but left me alone so I wouldn’t get more irritated.

I don’t know how long we walked but it felt like it went on forever. Eventually the heat started to really wear me down. The music we listened to (To Pimp A Butterfly and Madmen by Earthgang) wasn’t helping by any means. I remember feeling as if I was in one of thise country western films, traveling across the hot desert, kind of like the movie Holes. The whole experience felt very cinematic, heavy, and almost religious.I had a strange sense of purpose with no real destination.

I also remember experiencing an intense headache, dry mouth, more nausea nausea, and starting to feel hella lethargic after some time. Almost as if each step was requiring more and more effort and the heat was slowly roasting me. I had no water, and I’m assuming my condition visibly worsened because J kept asking if I wanted to ask any of the nearby strangers for a water. I refused for some reason and pushed on. He suggested multiple times but in the moment I genuinely just didn’t understand why he’d keep asking me that and continued to be stubborn. It’s like I felt sick af but it didn’t dawn on me why and what I should do to fix it. I just wanted out ASAP.

I started to become really confused, but now I was focusing intently on the people around me. I remember feeling like everyone was looking at me and hearing the echos of strange dialogue and laughter, but I feel like this part could’ve been in my head due to paranoia and or a combination of the music we had playing and what I heard outside. I was just so confused. I don’t remember too many visuals besides seeing a face in a lot of the landscapes and waves of color changes.

At this point, there was hardly any shade and it had been a while since we came across a resting spot. We ended up spotting a mile marker with a 6 on it. We had no idea the trail was 6 miles long and this is where we decided to turn back around because we had no plans to walk the whole thing. I tried to book an Uber back, but we were so far along the trail, our gps couldn’t locate us. I remember the sense of doom I felt when I saw we were a good hour away from where we parked, but I just knew we had no choice but to walk back, so we did. Throughput this time I just continued to worsen until we were beginning to approach the parking area, but it was on a pretty steep incline.

This is where things got really scary for me. I’m not sure if this was just my muscles twitching because i was dehydrated, if I was seizing, or what, but as J is helping pretty much hop up this incline like a wounded soldier, I feel my leg start to lock up similar to the way it does when you have a cramp, followed by an excruciating sharp/stabbing pain in my legs and a painful head sensation. I felt like I was being electrocuted. It was hard for me to walk as I could feel my muscles involuntarily tightening but we made it to the car and I laid across the back seat. J then began calling a friend of his with some trip experience for help to avoid us having to go the hospital.

I remember fading in and out of consciousness repeatedly. Not completely, but i was in that very confusing, dreamy, and sluggish state you’re in before you faint, where your vision starts to fade to black and you feel like you have no energy left. It almost felt relieving in a way, like I was just being sedated and put out of my misery. I remember J pouring water on my face, slapping, shaking, and coaching me to stay awake, but it was really hard. It felt so easy to just let go. I thought about it but the idea scared me. He’d tell me to drink water but I couldn’t hold it down. Idk how long this went on but it was bad, to the point where vomit was coming out of my mouth and nose. I literally felt like I was drowning in a pool of my own waste. I would just drink water and throw it right back up seconds later, then continue to nod off until the next wave of vomit woke me up. I had to consciously try and hold on to what was in front of me before it all faded away again.

I remember in that moment feeling so hopeless. I could barely stay awake, let alone breathe. I was strangely more focused on the people outside and what they thought about everything going on as bystanders became aware that something was wrong and watched. I even remember in the midst of all this, looking at a couple and saying “They look worried” and feeling guilty. Weird. I wasn’t as worried about myself as I should be and it was like I was spectating from a 3rd person perspective.

Eventually, J’s friend came with food and more water and they both nursed me back to health. It took a couple hours but after sitting in the ac and eating and drinking water, I felt better, but not A1. I was still really drained afterwards, physically and mentally, so my friend drove me home and I slept the rest of the night away.

This entire experience was pretty traumatic for me and while I don’t remember a lot of it, I’ll never forget it. It was extremely humbling and taught me to take care of my body for sure. Im not sure what would have happened if I had have just let go in the moment, but it felt like I was just slipping away and I still wonder till this day, was that me dying? Most of it didn’t hurt either, until I would regain consciousness but I was too confused and out of it to focus on the physical pain in the moment. It was actually kind of calming, but the part that kept me grounded in reality was my fear of letting go of all the relationships I have on earth. I thought of my family and what they would think if they heard about me passing in such a way, and all the things I hadn’t done yet.

I just really wanted to share this experience since I never have and it still gives me chills to this day. Hope you enjoyed.