I have only recently started on my psychedelics journey. I am in my mid thirties and have always avoided them because I was afraid of what I would see based on a history of mental illness and childhood abuse. I needn't have worried. I experienced pure beauty in all things and felt the energy of all things moving through me in a constant and infinite helix fractal, whilst the physical world collapsed into tessellating shapes around me.

This was only my second trip. My first was a mild dose (10g) of Makaali truffles, which I felt helped me to open the door a little and to feel comfortable with gentle visual hallucinations and a feeling of connectedness to the world. This time however, I did a lemon TEK brew fo 15g of Alien Truffles, and I feel like my world has changed as a result. I was with some friends who had done a brew of Makaali, so they were a little more straight than me, which was great because in the quiet park we were in, I reckon I could've got a bit lost both figuratively and literally.

I drank my brew at around 5pm and within about 20 minutes I could feel the effects gently enveloping me. I felt warm and giggly, on my way to euphoria as though I was on a good MDMA trip. After about 30 minutes I started having some visual hallucinations, my vision started to leave tracers like I was looking at several frames of a film at the same time. My friends faces remained in my vision even if I closed my eyes and when I did, concentric rainbows came off of their faces as though they would carry on into infinity.

About an hour in, I realised I was struggling a bit to concentrate on conversations and had to take myself off and lay down on the grass and look at the sky. I closed my eyes and started to see fractals gently appearing through my eyelids. Geometric shapes mostly that kept repeating and zooming through my consciousness as though I was travelling at great speed. I felt perfectly calm and was enjoying the never ending kaleidoscope effects. Mostly they existed in reds, oranges and yellows but occasionally it would brighten to almost pure white, but I could still see the shapes and feel the movement. I went back over and talked to my friends a little. We had had a discussion the day before about alien contact on Earth that had been based in the very physical sense of "visitations". This time however, I explained that I believed that any alien lifeform more developed than ours may well just transplant their consciousness across the cosmos and commune with us through this transcendental state because language and bodies are messy and limited, but energy and thought was perfect.

After about half an hour and we walked a little through some trees. All of the trees had faces now, as did the rocks, and even the pavement. They were watching me and were not at all malevolent, they just kept an eye. I spoke to them softly and thanked them for being there. As I walked on the pavement, the surface appeared to be made out of the fossilised hide of giant reptiles. I looked up and in the distance, on an island off the coast, a cliff face was made of cute cat faces next to the head of a dinosaur. I explained this to my friends and we laughed our heads off and carried on moving to a small area of beach.

After briefly talking to my friends who, by now it was very clear, were on a very different trip to me, I went to lay down on my own on the stones of the beach. This is when things got really deep. The fractals resembled impossible interlocking architecture. Reds, greens, blues and yellows, all combining in giant archways and tunnels that led into skulls and death masks. I breathed deeply and thought to myself "okay, I am fine. I am safe and with friends. I can open my eyes at any moment and visit a different place in time and space if I want to." I allowed the skulls to envelope me and I flew through them, their mouths and eyes made up new infinite architecture and as I reached out and touched them, they broke into new shapes like smoke spiralling off into the cosmos. I felt my body reach a state of relaxation that made me want to be in the water. I knew this would be a bad idea though and so resisted gently, thinking about how i would use this trip next time. The relaxation made me aware of my physical body again which made me feel like I needed to go to the toilet, although I realised it was actually more a sense of orgasmic bliss.

I felt like at any moment I could have a perfect orgasm, or even that I already was (?) and I became entangled within a cycle of sex, birth, life and death. The fractals in my visions were at this point so beautiful that it felt incredibly erotic and I felt that I could stay in this blissful moment forever. But then it started to rain and the water on my face dragged me back a little to my body. As i opened my eyes, a single bird flew overhead and I could see both it's physical presence and it's prior and future trajectory all at once. This made the entire sky break into tessellations of the bird's silhouette and come tumbling down life so much waterfall spray. Th rain came down hard and my friends moved us to a secluded spot where we listened to music and talked. I would periodically lay down and just drift through the universe, feeling like everything human was stripping away and that my consciousness was falling through into just pure energy and light. However with some annoyance, I was always conscious that I was tethered to my fleshsuit and that at some point I would have to come back to dealing with the physical and social rules of humanity.

We talked more about the universe and about where "the centre" of it was. We talked about the big bang and about how the centre was everywhere all the time. I couldn't explain much more than this. Words seemed so inadequate. I wanted to just reach out and touch them and communicate my feelings and thoughts through psychic energy. I lay back down and felt pure love and pure energy. I looked at the domed roof of our shelter and watched it vibrate and create spirals into the cosmos. This happened for about another hour or so whilst we listened to music and continued to talk, giggle and I continued to experience the sublime euphoric/orgasmic feeling. I managed to explain that there was also a feeling of vindication. Like everything I had ever felt was right, was indeed true, and that societal restrictions, and those of previous people in my life, had imprisoned those things, but deep down, I knew, i just KNEW I was right.

Eventually the rain passed and I began to come back to my body a little more. I could hold more of a conversation again, I could walk without stumbling. As we walked across the grass I could see the visual hallucinations creating divine patterns across it and through it, as though it was all tiled and completely virtual - like a computer game graphic but more beautiful. Slowly these too faded and I was just left with a calm and euphoric feeling as we walked back to civilisation.

Civilisation was gross though. A Friday night in a dirty city, it felt like when Captain Willard reaches the Do Lung Bridge in Apocalypse Now. The energy and the vibrations were intensely harsh and negative. It was quite hilarious to observe and I couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of everything around me although it did also leave me a little bit shaken. After some food, I took a taxi home and as I looked out of the window of the moving cab, I had the feeling that I was visiting somewhere for the very first time. As though I was on a holiday to a new place. Everything felt so unfamiliar and foreign to me, a stranger in a strange land.

When I got home, after the 'trip' had finished, I showered and went straight to bed, allowing my feelings to exist and not trying to force them away, which I knew would be a bad thing at that point. I noticed quite an intense feeling of anxiety and irritability that I put down to realising I am stuck in my body and stuck in the world and in time. I realised that this could be quite a negative loop and one of the reasons for writing this trip report is to try and hold on to those notes of pure positivity and to recognise that they will always be there, behind the liminal world and that when I die (hopefully a long time from now) my energy will return to that cosmic flow.

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As I read all of this back now, I can't help but think how ridiculous it all sounds, and I now have to work out how to integrate all of this into my new slightly altered headspace, and look forward to my next adventures.

If you've got this far, thanks for reading.