I just bought a 110 dollar wig with all my money in my bank account. I've only worn it for 3 days and I had to rip it off. My skin is raw and sore but I don't care. I just couldn't wear a wig 24/7 like that. It's too hard , it was such a sensory overload. Also I live in Texas and my mom refuses to turn on the AC because shes a single mom and can't afford to. My mom was kind enough to help me install my wig and made a comment that she hopes that I dont scratch on the wig or rip it off and waste all my money . I just need to grow up and stop acting up like a child * probably due to my mood swings * . I can't tell her I took off my wig tonight and I'll just wear it around her and in public and hopefully she wont know. The wig is pretty tight as is, but maybe a headband to keep it in place. I just hate this disorder. I've been bullied by my mom not intentionally but have been yelled at and hit or just talk down too or told to just stop and act normal for once. My ex boyfriend best friend would constantly call me nasty and talk shit about my trichophagia/trichotillomania too my boyfriend in spanish. I've had milk poured on me in elementary school and pushed into lockers or just punched. I just wish I had cancer . Number 1) everyone would take me more seriously and not treat me as a joke and Number 2) I can finally die like I want to and not have to try and do it myself. I have a family member who has had cancer so ik it's hard but I would totally take a physical illness over a mental one anyday. I wish I could move out but I'm 23 and I have no friends because of my mental illnesses and I just got hired for a new job and this is my 9th job . I feel better with the wig off just so I can sleep and I'll just have to put it on in the morning. I'm sure wig glue irritates other people with this disorder besides just me and I'm just going to buy a bunch of headbands to wear over the wig to hold it down . I just wish I was pretty and loved like everyone else and people can look besides my physical appearance. It sucks with my ex friend being popular on tiktok it just seems people only care about someone's physical beauty and sexual appeal more than the person. Maybe that's just me. I just worry so much about how I look to others it just sucks.