I was 19 when I started talking to this older guy I met online. I’ve been broken for so long that I just couldn’t help it. I’d talk to guys, tell them all the things that have happened to me and that I wanted to happen, we’d agree to meet, and then I chicken out at the last minute and block them. It’s like a flip would switch and I’d come to my senses, I’d remind myself that normal girls don’t do that. Usually nothing too crazy would come from it. Sometimes I’d get guys that would create other accounts or use fake numbers to message me again. They might call me names or ask me why I blocked them. Some will tell me that I was a worthless slut and one day I’d never forget that. Some even would manage to find my real life socials. I’d get Facebook messages or Instagram dms. I’d usually just immediately block them. But it did make me scared that they’d find me and really make me do all those things I said when I was horny and desperate.

Well one day I’d made plans with the guy mentioned above. We’d talked about what he wanted what my limits were and everything. I had a few but told him he could have free rein otherwise. The day comes, he checks in that morning to make sure we’re still good, and I panic block him. I think nothing of it and assume I’m going to go about my day as normal and will start talking to another guy next time I get the urge. Around 3pm I get a knock on my door. I lived in an apartment complex not in the best area, so there was random people who’d knock often. I’d usually just answer it, see what they wanted, then they’d be off. So I look through the peephole and it was a nice looking older gentleman. I figured maybe he was having car trouble or something cause he didn’t look like he was from around there. I opened the door and before I could even say anything he’s pushing me inside and has a hand around my throat. I start trying to push him off, I’m trying to scream, I was panicking. He shuts the door with his foot and shoves me down. He kicks me twice and tells me to shut up so I won’t get hurt. I’ve always had a freeze response. I think maybe because of what happened with my uncle I’ve been accustomed to it. So I’m laying on the ground crying. He’s standing there and he starts saying “you thought you’d just ignore me. We had plans so we’re keeping them.” At first I was confused but it took just a second for it to click that it was the guy I’d been talking to. I never gave him my address. I don’t know how he found me. He grabs me by the hair and pulls me up to my knees. He makes me take his cock out and suck it. It was decently sized. I’m gagging and choking and he just holds me down. I thought I was going to pass out. That was my first limit he broke. I don’t like being choked to the point of unconsciousness. There was stuff that happened with my uncle so it was a trigger. I immediately am back in tears. After a few more minutes he makes me show him to my bedroom. There is lays on the bed and tells me to ride him. I go to grab a condom. He calls me a dirty whore and says I don’t deserve one. That was the second limit he broke. I’d told him that I always use condoms just to be safe. As I don’t want to get pregnant. I came back over and got on top. He slaps my titties and sucks on my nipples as I’m riding him. Every so often he’d smack my face. It was hard. I don’t know how long he had me doing that. My legs were sore. My tits were red and sore. Eventually he tells me he’s close and I need to get off if I don’t want him to cum inside me. I immediately go to get off and he wraps his arms around me. I’m back to panicking. That was my biggest limit and the final one he broke. No cum inside me. I don’t want kids. Especially with some random man whose name I don’t even know. I was crying and begging him to please pull out. He just kept saying “you can get off me if you don’t want me to.” He held me down against him. He hammered into me. And as he came he said “god you’re so much tighter than my wife.” It broke me. I sobbed uncontrollably. Here I was full of cum from a married man. I was red and bruised and sore. He got dressed and told me “maybe we’ll see each other again.” I never did see him again. I never knew how he got my address. I never even knew who he really was. Luckily I didn’t get pregnant. But I knew it was all my fault. I never told anyone. I covered up the mark he left from slapping my face so hard. When it was noticed I just said I tripped down some stairs and hit my face. Now I want it again. I want the power taken. I want to be shown that I can’t just be a tease. I need to be reminded again.