21f here. I’ve been fighting with my kinda bf for a few days now. It’s just making my inner whore worse. Every time he raises his voice at me I wish he was smacking me. Every time he is telling me how stupid I am, I’m wishing I was on my knees with his cock in my mouth while he says it. I crave abuse. I know no one will ever love me. I know I’ll never be good enough. I’ve accepted that I’m only useful for my holes and for men to take their anger out on.

This morning he pissed me off so I grabbed his vape. He grabbed me by my hair and pushed me to the ground. It made me so wet. I wanted him to take my holes. Last night I tried to get him to fuck me but he said no. I begged him to just let me suck his dick, but he was so mad at me he didn’t let me. I feel worthless not being able to be useful. I need it. I had a dream last night that an old fat man raped me. I know I need it.

Our fighting has made me feel so terrible inside. I need to feel that same way physically. I need a black eye to remind me of my place. I need to stop questioning him. I need you all to remind me that I’m a worthless whore who is lucky that he even tolerates my presence. I need to be reminded. I need to be hurt. I need to be used and abused. Please make me useful, please remind me where I belong.