So, i dont really want to go into the start of it. But yea. Every psychologist ive seen agrees, theres definitely something there. They all think it was my step dad, and before age 2.

This ABSOLUTELY fucked with my mind. Im aromantic, heavily into BDSM and SA, (fuck SSC), and i have no sense of what is appropriate. And it gave me this huge sense of wanting intensive slavery. Look at any of the misogyny subreddits. I want to be that girl.

I dont know what im expecting by posting here. Im not pretty, im not handsome, im...nothing. and over my lifetime, its been pretty effectively proven to me that i teally, truly mean nothing to almost anyone. I dont have friends. I dont have a social circle. Because i dont feel worth it.

Whatever, right? Im old, stubborn, set in my ways... i dont think theres anything else i can do but wish i was that cute 20 year old awaiting her next forcible fuck...