Hey :)

I am not feeling the best atm. You could say I'm feeling depressed, and I'm using porn to cope right now. I was wondering if anybody would like to talk with me about the bad stuff. Um people have a hard time hurting me psychologically, but it is the only S&M that I am interested in doing now if at all. I am totally okay with being treated like a human tho ig. Like pampered and mothered and stuff. I have done a lot of fucked up stuff with this type of play in the past, and it has been a long time. I would like to feel something cathartic whether through pain or something else, whatever it is you feel when you're pampered. I don't do well with pet names by the way. I prefer to just be called "you." That might be part of the abuse from the past, idk. Although, I think I could enjoy it if you warm me up to it. Just ask if you can call me so and so pet name. I am not interested in joi or spanking myself or anything physical like that. I have a very specific way I like to play and you don't have to do all or any of this but basically... here's how it would go.

First, we can talk about whatever you'd like, but when you talk I'd prefer you to talk in a higher pitch voice - like 'babytalk' or as if you're talking to a needy puppy. With that alone, you will see some interesting results. Alternatively, you could be seductive and go with a more typical or even better a lower pitch voice, but that is hit or miss. Generally higher pitch works better. When I get noisy I tend to go higher pitched.

Second, I love attention. I mean who doesn't, but I always feel ashamed asking for it. But yes, if you fixate on just asking and learning about me it will have a synergistic with the first suggestion.

Third, as alluded to, I would like something lovey dovey or emotionally painful. I am not sure why, but I can't remember people really going far into the lovey dovey side other than just saying pet names over and over again which is not my style. And then for the emotional pain, you'll see. Most sadistic women think twice about hurting me because I am too cute when I click with them. It is actually a problem lol. I can go extreme with it though. I don't think it will come up because I have played with trauma before, but obviously, please respect my boundaries. "Red" means stop. "Pineapple" means stop. Other than that feel free to dig around in my brain and emotions lol.

Fourth, confessions. There's not much to confess about because we all know why I'm here on this subreddit, but it is a dopamine rush when I tell someone embarrassing about myself. It's a lot easier to talk to an internet stranger about personal stuff in general funny enough.

Fifth, autism. I have a mild case (according to some professionals). If you infantilize/cute-ify my autism, I'll squeak. Lol idk if I'll actually squeak, but that word just came to mind. My love language is acts of service and literally um being patient with (and acknowledging) my autistic behaviors feels euphoric and cathartic. It feels like you're "serving" me so to speak when you, well, if you were to say stuff like "are you blushing?" or "cat got your tongue?" or "do you freeze up around women a lot?" What do these all have to do with autism? They recognize a difficulty with social interactions, and having that be recognized is very nice. You could also go more deep into it like stimming, but that might be too advanced of a convo for people idk lol.

Sixth, miscellaneous practicalities. If you don't know what to say, just say it. It's ok. If you say something awkward, but just keep talking, then (at least for me) the effects will be minimal. I actually prefer awkward because it feels more real and cathartic. A lot of tension is nice. But back to what I was saying. Just say it also means you can ramble if you don't know what to say or also you can ask me small stuff like my favorite color or also also you can just say your thoughts out loud like "ah I'm trying to torture you, but nothing is coming to mind." It's ok. I might freeze up, but I will sometimes interrupt you and help you get me into a feeling-mothered state. Idk how else to put this but I will critique you on the fly, but not in a judgmental way, more like I'm just really demanding and if I'm not feeling it or my goldfish attention span runs out then I'll help you. Letting me help you doesn't mean you're doing bad. It means you're doing good. I just pivot a fuck ton because of watching so much porn and girlfriend audios I think. Btw be warned though that my brain and words will slow down more and more the deeper we go lol. But that's part of the fun. Also, you should reassure me a lot, especially for aftercare. In aftercare, a lot of the time I'll interrogate the other person and that's how I get my reassurance. I have a very hands on approach with how I play with this stuff because my way of doing it is so weird and so everybody gets it wrong lol.

We don't have to play, even though I feel like my form of play is pretty casual. We can just keep it super casual by like just talking. That's cool too.

Also, if you want to really hurt me. Teasing and brattiness go a long way. It can trigger an autistic mental breakdown, which is hot.

Anyways, you must be 18 obviously and feel free to hmu if you're interested! :)