When I was 12 years old I got snapchat. I was obsessed with it. A girl two years older than me that I didn’t know added me and we began talking and eventually sexting. She would tell me what to do and I would do it. I’ve since learned that the term to use for her is a soft dom. We would play truth or dare, but i was always getting naked and embarrassing myself for her. She would punish and reward me and it started effecting me socially and eventually made me depressed a year later and suicidal.

Since then i’ve had girlfriends and cut communication with her but she always gets back into my life somehow. It’s a cycle every 4-8 months that she comes back into my life and messes with my head and then she leaves or I can finally cut her off. We eventually went to the same college and would run into each other from time to time and i’d fall into the same trap of serving her over and over again until she got bored of me or i’d some how snap out of it after weeks.

She is so persuasive by telling me that my girlfriend doesn’t meet my sexual needs or porn isn’t as good as she is or meeting strangers to sext isn’t safe like she is.

She recently just came back and i’ve been with holding but I feel myself slowly needy her and wanting her. I feel like I need to serve her and get her praise. I need to get naked and embarrass myself for her. The worst is that if she isn’t available then I spend all day on reddit trying to find a dom mommy to make me feel the same way she makes me feel.