I was groomed and abused by my uncle starting at a young age. It lasted for years. When he passed away I missed his touch and the things he’d do. He’d share me with his friends, hurt me, degrade me, and all those amazing things. I missed it. I needed to be used. I went out and rape baited. I relived experiences. I pretended to be guy’s daughters or students. It was never enough. The only time I felt semi close to how he made me feel was when I was raped by my best friend. The betrayal turned me on.

Now I love getting off to my trauma. I love hearing all the naughty things that would be done with me. I love telling guys about my trauma and the them using it against me. Sending me voice notes of what my uncle used to say. Making me beg for it. I’m broken and the only way to fix me is to abuse me.