ETA: i actually realized i DID tell this story lmao but it's hot enough for me to retype.

i've never really told the story of this rape in full (i think) soo, enjoy! you're the first people to read it, and maybe the last if you get here late enough.

a year ago, my boyfriend and I tried anal once. i was a little uncomfortable so we stopped, and he didn't bring it up for another few weeks. until one day, we were at my house & he asked if i wanted to try it. i said no three or four times maybe? until he started pleading, to which i said yes. (i was a victim of anal rape in the past which is why i was so against it, & he knew this prior).

so, he did it. i don't remember a lot, i just froze. he asked if i was okay, and i busted into tears. he tried to console me but i was so upset i asked him to go away. the actual assault itself was lackluster, but eventually i found myself craving it again. i started asking him to touch me there more often, until we built up to anal again. i loved it so, so much, the feeling was almost addictive. i'd spend an hour just riding him, begging and crying for more. at one point, he held me and he whispered something like, "see? i knew you'd like it if i kept trying."

that was when i realized what he did was coercion, and it was all purposeful, but that only made me wetter. i thanked him and just kept bouncing.

i haven't done anal since, but i find myself craving it so so much. i wanna tell him how good he made me feel, how he made me realize what i was meant for <3