I currently identify as bi-gender (which to me means having a male and a female side and loving them both). I am feeling called to play more with gender and to explore other gender identities and presentation. (For instance, the makeup and facial hair look that Jeffrey Marsh models in their TikTok videos). I would like to experiment with different looks and see how they feel. Part of this is gently allowing myself to explore my gender identity more. I have finally made the decision to eventually come out of the closet. But I don’t know if I want to live as fully female, bi-gender, or another gender identity.

I think part of my problem is not being able to give myself permission to do things imperfectly and to not be “passable.” My inner critic is fierce. I usually don’t let myself dress up en femme unless I am doing makeup and the whole nine yards. Even if I’m not leaving the house.

Do I like the idea of a genderqueer or non-binary presentation because I like having at least some feminine in my presentation without having to shave? What would it feel like to step outside my comfort zone and express myself in different ways?

Any tips or advice are appreciated. I feel stumped for ideas on how to begin this journey.

Tl;dr My decision to come out of the closet has me wanting to explore gender presentation and identity to see what fits me best. One barrier to this is my harsh inner critic. Any tips, ideas, etc are appreciated.