After coming out... I thought I would finally find that group that I would stand by no matter what. Although, in my brief experiences most see me as some sort of pest cause I tend to vocalize reductive theory that segerates and categorizes us.

It was the way I used to view the world... Before I came out as transgender, I was transphobic to an extent. I somewhat still am... After all we're not taught to know better.

To reconcile this... I took a long walk reviewing my understanding of gender and came up with a theory I wanted to share the rest of you guys.

The term "non-binary" always frustrated me cause it tells me what you're not but not what you ARE. It's like "primary color", okay great. But are you red, blue, yelIow? I suppose it can't be helped if you're questioning, cause even I couldn't answer that if you asked me.

But I think the problem was the term in itself being misleading... Cause "non-binary" implies that there are two primary genders, which I realized that's what was causing my reductive thinking.

I've seen the spectrums and color wheels, but I never actually absorbed the reasoning for why every queer book presents the entire color wheel rather than something neat and organized like a shape box.

So the analogy I came up with is... Ball machines. I have to completely erase the idea of gender from my mind, cause it's very existence reinforces the heteronormative status quo. Forcing myself to look at things objectively, like animals. Animals have no genders, despite clearly having sexes. So, I decided to view humans as animals...

Masculine and Feminine, as identities as we've come to known them were built meticulously through chaotic natural selection. The ball machine spit out random numbers that create brains with randomized traits. These traits are what eventually shaped personalities, and lead to the self sustaining cultural ideal of gender (to intimate successful members of the species).

What that means is... All of us, even today are nothing but a bunch of randomly generated personalities which we forced to conform into the idealized archetypes of gender based on our assigned sex.

But I suppose in trying to perfect the idea of a "man" or a "woman" we may have broken the natural compasses that we used to express the unique traits given to us by nature. Nature never made us to be "men" or "women". It's something we decided for ourselves.

Then eventually it became something people decided for others...

We aren't rare cause we're defective, or rejects of nature. But because of the narrow boxes that have shaped us from the dawn of time.

Variety as proven by nature, is advantageous to our species. Non-conforming genders aren't a sign of genetic accidents but rather the sign of healthy selection.

Don't ever be afraid to be yourself, nature made you unique for a reason!!!

If you're seeing this, I'm sorry I ever gatekept, shunned or put you down.