I've started transitioning socially and medically this year, and my immediate family and friends know me as my chosen name and use he/him pronouns for me.

But I'm currently on vacation visiting my grandparents/uncles out of state with my family. And my mom asked if I could go by she/her and my birth name for now. And like...im girlmoding in the laziest way possible. But it feels Rough, like I'm acting fake when I get called my old name. When I get introduced as daughter or niece to a group of people it hurt more than I was expecting. It's a hard shift from everyone in my community being tolerant to having to hide. I'm only on this trip for my mom.

My grandparents are maga/anti-trans. My uncle...I'm not sure. But I feel like this is going to be the last trip where they see me as family.

I have a family member who's been out for nearly 20 years and they still mis gender her. I don't know if it'll be worth it to come up here again. I have to hold my tongue, I can't be authenticcaly me.

There's this...weird grief of this situation I wasn't expecting. And it feels so asinine because functionally nothing about me has changed besides my gender. I'm still me. It shouldn't fucking matter.