I’m not even sure where to start or what I need to say. So bear with me as I get this off my chest and question my own reality.

I’m a 34 year old man with 3 daughters and a loving wife of 9 years. Here lately I’ve been questioning myself. I have grown to hate being called a man or even when my wife says “good boy”. The words make me cringe and it hurts on the inside. My wife and I do role play to where I dress up and get all dolled up. She knows I love dressing. This is where my questions own reality comes in. I wish I could dress up everyday. But how does someone go about doing this with kids. My wife would be supportive but for how long and to what extent. At what sacrifice is it worth to ignore your inner thoughts? What does it mean when you can’t stand to look at yourself as a man but when dressed up, you like yourself a little bit more? How long can someone stand the crippling pain of not liking what they see looking back. Can someone develop a gender dysphoria later in life? Clearly seeing a therapist would help. Really just needed to vent and hope someone else is going through what I’m going through