I'm just so jealous because I see other trans women who have managed to get farther in their transitions. And get to where I want to be. Name changes, surgery referrals, all of it. And I can't do that because I'm stuck just figuring out to survive. I can't afford even the name change where I live right now. Because I'm so focused on trying to move out of state to a safer place. But it just sucks. Because I want to move farther in my transition. I've been on HRT for almost 4 and a half years. All I've done is that and my driver's license gender marker. And I hear how thrilling it is to have all these other milestones. And I do truly want to get there. It's not a race. And not everyone's journey is the same. But that doesn't stop me from wishing I didn't have to settle.