Hey there,

Since almost 1 year I am often thinking about my gender identity and after talking with trans friends, getting gaslighted by relatability from r/egg_irl (yeah it was pretty funny how almost everything is so true for me xD ) I think that I might really be trans. There are so many things I was thinking about and alone the thought of wearing a skirt and other feminine stuff really makes me feel „good“ and „happy“ I feel more at peace thinking of me as a woman rather than a man, and that’s my current state.

On the other side I have a lot of anxiety and fears. I am insecure af and hate what I am atm… and even thinking about wearing dresses or similar makes me feel so insecure and anxious. What if someone sees me (even worse if they know me) Everything feels so „weird“ because I still think I have to forfil all male gender norms or stuff like that. I don’t even feel good in my current state so how will things go when I try tk be more fem? I do some small things like I let my hair grow, occasionally Use subtle lipstick and I plan to do my nails, but it feels like it’s such a long and hard way ahead of me. Not because I am not getting tolerated, but because I have to face my true self and get to a clean slate with it…