Trans femme here.

Im starting to make plans to get top surgery this next year and its my first of three/four with a particular surgeon and size I want to go for. Im at a dilemma in my current life. I want to do this. Im going to do this. Ive accepted the health risks and the sacrifices that getting surgery involve. I have my reasons for why I want to do this as well, yet I still have such familial guilt for getting it done. My parents arent supportive like they claim to be. They make no effort to learn about trans issues or use correct pronouns but I still want them in my life and have accepted thats who they are. But why do I feel so much guilt for making these steps forward in my transition and something that I know is going to help me with my mental wellbeing and quality of life yet I still hear their voices in the back of my head? How do I keep the balance of knowing that this is who they are but this is also who I am. How do I not hear their voices as much despite being in my 30s?