Five years my partner and I have been together. Of the five she has dealt with depression, at first it was a lil tough but we got through it. I started transitioning about midway through our relationship. She is my rock such a huge supporter.

Recently we moved, it triggered (I'm assuming) a change in her depression what I thought was just her actually being happy was mania. And she has now been diagnosed with bipolar. I've educated myself. Took over the responsibilities that used to be hers. And have been doing my best to support her whenever and however.

Now she has been having an affair for weeks. With a cis man, who she refuses to stop talking too. She just asked me to marry her maybe weeks ago and now she is saying she wants an open relationship. I'm not against it, I'm just currently not ready and I don't feel she is in a good mind state for this.

I'm doing the best I can to hang in there we have a place together, cats, credit cards, the whole nine. How long do I hold on. She is still seeing this man, withholding information, and just plain lying. I know this isn't her, but also I can't make her help herself. We have had brief talks nothing deep as I really don't want to trigger or push her away. But what more can I do. She barely ever comes home now, neglects her work like her actual job she worked years for. I'm really struggling.

It's hard not to just blame myself. It's hard not to feel like I should have somewhere done better. Idk what to do anymore my heart is so broken.