I finally received my first formal rejection from attending a family event (a relatives wedding). I have not had a chance to discuss my decision to transition with this person, but it's been all over Facebook since last year so I knew they already knew about it. I don't want drama, and I told them I didn't want to be somewhere I wasn't welcome, where everyone would be just staring at me, or where their wedding just becomes about the trans person being at it rather than their celebration of love and marriage. I told them I was not interested in fighting, I simply have no interest anymore in being in a space I'm not welcome. Whether by this person specifically or by other members of the family. They told me they'd love to have me there if I could dress as a man, and I told them I respected that, but I'm not living a lie anymore or making myself small anymore for the appeasement of others. The way I see it is if I'm not welcome to be myself at a place, if I have to hide some part of myself in order to be welcomed there, then I'm not actually welcomed there. I told them I understand, but that I would not be attending this wedding, and I wished them well and no ill will. Did I overreact? This probably won't be the first time a decision like this comes up to be made. I just see no reason to hold on to things or break myself to be accepted in a place that doesn't appreciate and love the entirety of me. For the record this in east Texas and almost everyone in my family is a conservative Christian republican. And despite this post, most of them, including the person who's wedding it is are really not bad people. They are just ignorant and fear what they don't understand.

To add: I should have clarified better, it wasn't like a "you can come as a man" tone. It was more like "if you can dress as a man we'd love to have you, if you can't then we understand and don't judge but we don't want the drama that will come along with you being there" which honestly sucks but like, I get it I think. Or maybe I'm just a big spineless no backbone having pushover like everyone says I am 🤷🏼‍♀️🙃