So, just for context, my mom (55F) and I (23F) have always had a toxic relationship because whenever I was vulnerable to her she would turn around and tell me my tears are manipulative (after she caused them) or when I finally told her I was struggling with depression she intrusively started barging into my room or passive-aggressively cleaning my space (that I feel extreme shame about already). These amongst other things.

Anyways, a few weeks ago she decided to lecture me about a video that talked about the entitlement of kids these days and how kids originally were born to tend to the fields and be helpers around the house. I kindly asked her then to give me some space as she had been bombarding me prior with spiritual manipulative messages about praying etc... So she said a lot of things but the things that hurt me surrounded my looks such as comparing me to a pig and basically shaming me for some of my features.

During the fight, we had today I just told her that my problem is when you reprimand me you shame me about my struggles instead of just saying what I need to work on. She began to flip it on me and totally disregarded the hurtful and bully-like words she said to me. She asked me why she can't compare me to other people's children (but when I compare her to other people's moms she is allowed to be upset). She also "apologized" about the hurtful things but I could tell she didn't really mean it, and so after I called her out on the fact that she clearly does not look or seem apologetic at all but is just saying she's sorry to shut me up, she decided that she will never apologize and say well done to me until I change the things about me that she hates. She says if I had only listened to her I would be different to how I am now, and that I would be better than I am now.

I don't know if this is toxic, however, from the internal work that I have been doing, I have just found that she might be super narcissistic and jealous of the way I grew up compared to me?