I have moved out from my house and staying a hostel so that I can focus on my studies...i come to my house from time to time...as i came to my house a few days back...today i had class...but i slept couldn't wake up at the right time..so I skipped it..my dad said to my mom .. "don't tell him to come to the house if he is not going to the class!!" ...i woke up with this statement ..i got so fucking hurt...i actually understand the concern behind this statement...but this is not the way to say it...so i am now practically trying to please my dad...by studying the whole...which i couldn't achieve as my mom asked me to help in a lot of things today...

I feel like a failure and a disappointment to my parents...i am not a good son...though i have other talents..i am not doing what i am capable of...but doing what my parents love...it hurts so badly that i have fucking sacrificed a lot of things that i love...

My mental health is not stable...my parents look at me and say look at your body..you look fat ..you look old...i act like I Dont care...but it hurts...it gives me sleepless nights ....i don't want to be here...i am just a piece of shit...my mom especially say to me that i don't have emotions...what the fuck is that statement....i have emotions...i just don't show it to them...if I show it...it might turn into chaos...

I am confident and scared of my life...i have no friends...no siblings... I actually want to lead my life as it goes... without a long term goal...it may not work...but being in the moment...give me a lot of joy...

If you have read this post this far...thank you for reading it...

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