As we've reached that part of the off-season where you begin to get drunk and question every decision your team has ever made*,I thought we all need to have a discussion about Fred Van Vleet.

Now, on the surface Fred had a pretty good season. 8.6 PPG, 3.2 assists, over 41% from three, low turnovers capped with being a 6th Man of the Year Finalist. Sure, all looks fairly solid. But once you take a little deeper look, you'll find Fred actually played pretty terrible. So let's go over what I uncovered.

1. Fred Van Vleet Shot 55.6\% In True Shooting Percentage. The league average? Exactly 55.6 percent. Fred is very likely the most average player in the entire league, according to this one very specific metric. And average doesn't win championships.
2. When Shooting Jump-shots From 10 to 16 Feet, Fred Shoots 9.5\%. No one ask the sample size, it doesn't matter because Fred sucks.
3. Fred Van Vleet Is A Terrible Rim Protector. Per 100 possessions, Van Vleet averaged just 0.6 blocks. Absolutely pathetic. Compare this with Rudy Gobert, who averaged 3.6 blocks per 100 possessions and you really start to get a picture of just how bad Fred is. If Fred can't guard the rim effectively, what can he do?
4. In Away Game Losses With a Defender Within 4 Feet, Fred Shoots An Atrocious 30.8\% From Three. Fred's three point prowess falls apart under a closer inspection. Is this representative of a larger problem in Fred's 3 point shooting? It's tough to say, but yes that is absolutely 100% what this data suggests without any doubt whatsoever.
5. Fred Van Vleet Doesn't Dunk. Who the hell wants an NBA player that doesn't dunk?
6. How Old Is He Really? According to all official documentation, Fred is 24 years old. However, my investigation has uncovered some startling facts. Fred was born in a place called Rockford, Illinois. Here is the million dollar question: has anyone ever even been to Rockford? Among the four people I asked, all four said no. I have no choice but to reach a drastic conclusion: Rockford does not exist, and is nothing but an elaborate conspiracy by the Round Earthers concocted to hide Fred's true age.
7. Fred Was Recently Spotted At a Raunchy Strip Club With A Bunch Of Cocaine. These accusations are very serious (see the photo evidence for yourself) and bring up questions about Fred's character. How bad is his drug problem? What kind of strippers does he like? Is it good coke or some cut bullshit? Why were his team-mates not supporting him in this endeavor? Only time will tell.
8. Where Was Fred On 9/11? Despite never being asked as far as I know, Fred Van Vleet has yet to provide a solid alibi for his whereabouts on 9/11. If this isn't suspicious to you, then you're a blind round-earth believing sheeple.

*Assuming you are a Toronto Raptors fan